Whoever said “love means never having to say you’re sorry” was delusional. This is a fact.
I’M SORRY are words that every single one of us have said thousands and thousands of times. It’s true. We’ve all screwed up and we’re all going to keep screwing up. It’s part of life. There’s no way around it. Apologies are a part of being human. But are you doing it right?
I honestly think the world would be a better place if we followed a couple of apology rules. Not unicorns-farting-rainbows-and-it-only-rains-candy kind of better, but an I-like-sharing-this-planet-with-my-fellow-man better. Here are what I consider to be the biggest mistakes people make when apologizing:
The Anatomy of an Apology:
How To Say You’re Sorry Without Sounding Like An Ass
Don’t be insincere.
Hopefully I don’t need to explain to you why this is important, but just in case I do: People aren’t stupid. Most can tell if you’re being insincere. An apology for apologies sake isn’t much of an apology at all, is it? If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of an empty apology then you know how much they suck. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.
No buts.
Which of these apologies would you rather receive?
“Bob, I am so sorry. I feel so awful that I accidentally used Nair on your prize winning Pomeranian instead of her prescription eczema cream. You trusted me to watch her while you were gone and I screwed up in a really big way. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to make things right.”
OR
“Bob, I’m so sorry I accidentally used Nair on your prize winning Pomeranian instead of her prescription eczema cream BUT you shouldn’t have put the bottles side by side. They look so much alike! I really feel awful BUT at least it’s only hair. It’ll grow back.”
NO APOLOGY SHOULD EVER CONTAIN THE WORD “BUT.” Never ever. Using the word but in an apology means you don’t really think you’re responsible…and if you don’t think you’re responsible then why are you apologizing? If you screwed up then just admit it.
IT DOESN’T MATTER how big of an ass your boyfriend was being. It doesn’t matter what he did to make you angry. Cutting the crotch out of all his pants was wrong and you know it, so just apologize. No “buts.”
Does he owe you an apology for being a jerk? Probably, but that’s on him. At the end of the day we’re all responsible for own actions and reactions and it’s up to us to do what’s right.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? Have you ever been on the receiving end of a truly horrible apology? What are your biggest apology pet peeves? Inquiring minds want to know!
Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick
images :: i’m sorry – hanne dale :: via rusty weston ::
