EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US was asked “What do you want to be when you grow up” when we were kids. And we all had our answers neatly tucked away in our hearts and ready to whip out out a moments notice – astronaut; ballerina; president; fire fighter; teacher; Batman. We all had our answers and we cherished them.
BUT WHAT A MISLEADING QUESTION.
“WHEN I GROW UP” implies a goal, a destination, an end result of the cumulative experiences, acts and behaviors of our youth. That at some point we’ll be done, finished cooking like a pot roast and the end result will be delicious adulthood. But it isn’t true.
IT’S A LIE.
IT’S A SUBTLE, unintentional, unconscious lie all children are told; a bigger lie than (*SPOILERS*) Santa or the Easter Bunny.
AS CHILDREN WE SUBCONCIOUSLY LEARN TO BELIEVE we’ll have all the answers when we grow up. We learn to believe that with adulthood comes magical abilities – the ability to know how to handle any situation, to have all the answers to all the questions, to solve problems and heal wounds. We will be adults and our nearly God-like knowledge and abilities will be boundless and true because we’ll be all grown up.
THE TRUTH IS WE NEVER FINISH GROWING UP.
THE PROCESS is never complete. We continually learn and grow and we never have all the answers. We never know how to handle every situation. We never know how to solve all the problems or heal all the wounds. Ever. It’s a never ending process and it’s one I believe continues even after we die.
I’M STILL GROWING UP.
AND IN ALL HONESTY, more often than I care to admit, I still feel like a child; uncertain or lost and wondering how to navigate through a new experience, answer a new question, solve a new problem…or heal a fresh wound.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE between my youth and my adulthood is the scale of the questions, problems and injuries. Where I used to worry about what was lurking under my bed, my step-sisters tormenting me or what would happen if my parents died (I was a little morbid, even as a kid) I now worry about making ends meet, wondering if I’ll ever have a family of my own to love and care for and trying to figure out how to heal the wounds of true heartbreak.
I HEREBY PROPOSE A CHANGE TO THE QUESTION because we’re asking the wrong one. The question we should be asking children and ourselves is…
WHO DO WE WANT TO BE AS WE GROW?
AND NEXT FRIDAY I’ll answer just that. I will open my heart and pour my soul into my keyboard and tell you who I want to be as I continue to grow through this brief and shining moment called life and I hope you’ll join me in doing the same.
Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick
images :: all the beautiful things by loreta :: unknown :: unknown :: unknown ::
