Name:
The Negasaurus Rex.
Humanis Negatalis Supremus
Taxonomy:
As yet unclassified.
Habitat:
They congregate anywhere hope, joy and positivity exist.
Range:
Global.
Identification:
The Negasaurus Rex is virtually indistinguishable from homo sapien until confronted with optimism and happiness.
Behavior:
They are frequently witnessed engaging in the following behaviors:
- pissing in people’s cheerios
- raining on parades
- bursting bubbles
- fulfilling misery’s desire for companionship
- emulating a stick in the mud
- basking in smug self-satisfaction
Warnings:
Interactions with Negasaurus Rex can result in low self-esteem, loss of happiness and enthusiasm, aggravation and feelings of defeat. Interactions with Negasaurus Rex should be avoided as much as possible in order to maintain positivity, sense of self-worth, pleasure, joy and general sense of well-being.
If you do have the misfortune of coming into contact with a Negasaurus Rex, proceed with caution and do the following:
-
keep smiling
-
attempt to ignore their negativity
-
do not take them seriously
-
do not attempt to discuss, debate or otherwise engage them in
conversation, casual or otherwise
These steps should negate their attempts at thwarting your good mood and, hopefully, keep them at bay. In the event these techniques fail, use the stop, drop and roll method. This may confuse the Negasaurus long enough for you to make your escape.
If you are unsure if someone is a Negasaurus Rex observe them and ask yourself:
- Do they frequently smirk or roll their eyes while others are talking?
- Do they use expressions such as “not to be mean, but…” or “I’m
just trying to be honest…” on a regular basis? - Do they attempt to turn anything and everything you say into a
debate or argument?
Example:
*you* – The sky is such a lovely shade of blue.
*negasaurus rex* – The sky isn’t really blue. It’s a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. There’s nothing lovely about it…it’s science.
*you* – Uhhhhh…I’m going to go stand over there now.
The Negasaurus Rex finds negativity and being “right” irresistable. When confronted with positivity in any form from a homo sapien they often adopt an air of superiority, make negative, cynical, condescending, or sarcastic remarks and are often seen having uncontrollable eye and lip movements resulting in smirks and rolling of the eyes.
Their need to respond in a negative fashion increases exponentially when given access to the internet. They compulsively post cynical rants in an attempt to establish their perceived superiority. They often engage in self-deprecation in an attempt to conceal their true identity as a Negasaurus Rex. Do not be fooled. The Negasaurus Rex is a threat to your mental and emotional well-being. Exercise extreme caution.
For more information please contact:
The Center for Negasaurus Rex Research at NegasRexInfo@kissesandchaos.com
And remember:
Be Prepared and Keep Smiling!
image ©2011 alli woods frederick all rights reserved
