Gala Darling on Tattoo Regrets & Parenthood

a response to Gala Darling’s “Confession Time:  Sometimes I Have Tattoo Regrets”

gala darling parenthood


BACK IN APRIL, blogger Gala Darling posted an article titled Confession Time:  Sometimes I Have Tattoo Regrets.”  The post itself was completely innocuous.  One hundred percent safe for human consumption.  It was sponsored by Oxygen’s Best Ink so it’s about what one expects from a paid post…nothing too hard hitting or over the top, just a simple post with a few videos and an interview with the show’s host.  Like I said, a completely harmless blog post.

BUT SOMETHING CAUGHT MY EYE.  There, amid her tattoo musings, was a remark that has been bugging the hell out of me ever since.  There, in the opening paragraph of her post was this:

“Getting inked is one of the few decisions you make that really sticks with you for life. Jobs come and go, marriages can get annulled, children grow up and move away… But tattoos remain.”

Gala Darling


Say What?

I WAS SHOCKED by the statement.  Shoot, I obviously still am if I’m deciding to write about it two months after I read it.

A TATTOO IS A SCAR and yes, it is permanent, but so is the decision to get married.  And if you regret the decision enough to get an annulment then I’m guessing that decision will leave a scar of its own.  Is it visible?  No, but it’s still there…it’s still permanent.  You can’t magically undo the damage.

NO ONE CAN TURN back time and not get married (or annulled for that matter). For someone who means their vows and loves their spouse, ending the marriage is a tragedy that is no different than the death of a loved one and the pain lingers for a lifetime.



gala darling parenthood


AS FAR AS I CAN TELL through my relationship with my mother (and just about every other parent I’ve ever spoken to about their children) being a parent is a VERY permanent decision, regardless of age or physical distance.  No matter how old they are almost every parent I know feels a need to take care of their little baby…even if their baby is a 37 year old 6’5″ linebacker.

THE THOUGHT of placing more importance and permanence on tattoos than lifelong commitments like marriage and parenthood, decisions that should carry far, far more weight, is something I just can’t wrap my head around.  It seems very out of touch for someone that has based a large portion of their career on concepts of love and energetic connections.

GALA’S POST leaves me wondering if this mindset is becoming commonplace…that love and commitment no longer hold any meaning and that these most precious of things are becoming disposable…just like everything else in society.  Pervasive.  Chronic.  Temporary.  Disposable.

THOSE OF YOU who come here with any regularity know I’m not an armchair warrior, so please know this isn’t an attack.  I’ve read Gala for years and am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a hater.  This is merely an observation about a comparison I simply can’t fathom.

AM I THE ONLY ONE that feels this way about that remark?  Is this truly the prevalent mentality in our society?  What do you think?  I’d love to hear your opinions.  Just remember to keep it nice.  No snark or bitchiness, please.



Kisses & Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick


images ::  gala darling – mariabjornbomoberg  ::  via  :: 
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  • Addie

    I felt the same way when I read that (not to mention that tattoos can be removed)… but I thought maybe I was just out of touch with today’s thoughts/opinions

    • I’ve often been told I’m too sensitive and “read too much into things” so I questioned whether or not that was the case here…but the fact that 2 months later it’s still a thorn in my side led me to suspect that wasn’t the case.

  • Emily F S.

    It is an insulting remark to those of us who are parents, that is for sure. It’s not the first thing she’s said that has upset me though, honestly. I chose to stop reading her site quite some time ago because of remarks like the one you are talking about. It’s funny, because a LOT of bloggers and online friends of mine read her and love her…I feel almost ashamed or scared to voice my opinion on her.

    • I have seen readers/fans of blogs get very protective of their favorites, for sure. I was a bit nervous to post this for that very reason…but I’m hoping this is taken in the spirit with which it was intended – not as a slight against Gala, but a statement about the irreverence that seems to be permeating our society. Teenagers having babies as accessories…divorce rates through the roof…I can’t help but feel culture’s concept of what is truly important has become severely distorted. It makes me sad.

  • Well said, Ellen. Well said.

  • I’ve never been married and I don’t care for children so my emotions towards these relationships aren’t as strong, but unfortunately I think these kind of things ARE disposable to most people. I only know a handful – and that’s stretching it – of people who’ve only been married once. Kids are a different story – no, you can’t just erase them, but generally parents are proud of their children and never regret having kids, even if they were an “accident.” A tattoo is more permanent in that if it sucks, if you outgrow it, whatever, you’re kind of screwed. Even if a person gets it “erased” a hint of it is still there. Hmm..I feel like I’m rambling nonsensical thoughts! I guess what I’m trying to say is that I can see it from both sides.

    • I just found the comparison to be rather (and I hate to say it and have avoided using this term in conversations on this topic on facebook, etc) shallow…and I worry that our culture is becoming that way too…hollow, shallow, vapid with no concerns beyond instant gratification – always standing with our hands out ready to take, feeling entitled to anything and everything…a disposable culture. That’s what really bothered me about the remark…I worry that it’s exactly what the majority of younger generations think/feel these days…and that, to me, is disturbing.

      • It’s absolutely a shallow culture and it’s sickening. #firstworldproblems and all that. I’ve lived in the Philippines for 2 months now and see how people think completely differently when they don’t have everything they want and don’t have the ability to have everything they want. Some people are lucky to have enough fish and rice for the day. It’s opened my eyes, that’s for sure.