There are some things in life that just suck, plain and simple.  Here are 5 complete nuisances and how to handle them.

Sucky Things with Easy Solutions

 

1)  Getting a pimple in that little divot above your lip or on the edge of your nostril.  Talk about sucking.  They hurt like hell and popping them is only a possibility if you’re a total masochist with a high pain threshold.

things that suck

What to do about it:   Start to beat the ever-loving crap out of it the SECOND you notice it trying to develop.  If you have sensitive skin then go for a salicylic acid based product…although I prefer benzoyl peroxide even though I have delicate skin and it’s never bothered me.  I also usually use more than what it suggested by the manufacturer, but I’m wild like that.  I also give it a blast from a Zeno Hotspot (which is a less expensive, disposable Zeno, but works the same way) about 2 or 3 times.  That usually does the trick quite nicely.*

 

2)  Stubbing your toe…yet another nuisance that hurts like all get out.

What to do about it:  Yell and cuss.  Yup.  Yell & cuss.  Studies have shown that a good loud expletive decreases the pain response.  Strange but true.

 

3)  You get home from the salon only to realize that your beloved stylist, who was having a bad day, has given you a seriously jacked up new haircut.

What to do about it:  You actually have several options here.  You can:

  1. Suck it up.  Hair grows back.  No biggie.
  2. Invest in hats, scarves & wigs.  Wear them until it’s grown back out.
  3. Call the salon and politely explain the situation (you catch more flies with honey).  A good stylist/salon will offer to fix the unfortunate cut free of charge.  You are, after all, a walking advertisement for their services.

 

4)  Every time you wear lipstick & think you’re looking super-foxy you come to discover your dazzling smile has been making people see red…because your lipstick is aaaaaaaaaaall over your teeth.  Woo-woo, sexy lady.  Woo-woo.

What to do about it:  Before you walk out the door suck your thumb…sort of.  Put your lips around your thumb like you’re going to suck it but instead drag your thumb out while keeping your lips tight.  The lipstick that would have wound up on your teeth is now on your thumb instead.  TADUM!  Just make sure you clean  your thumb off before you head out for the night.

 

5)  Zombies are trying to eat you.

What to do about it:  Run like the wind and aim for the head.  And if you’re part of a group REMEMBER – you don’t have to be the fastest runner in the group… just faster than the slowest person.

 

Kisses & Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

 

*Note I am not a dermatologist or aesthetician. What works for me may not work for you and although I do not follow the instructions of some products as laid out by the manufacturers does not mean you should too.  You should always use products following the manufacturers directions.  Read my disclaimer. 

 

image credits:  zit by Richard Perez  *  Lucky Cuss Motel by Thomas Hawk  *  Josh by Jesse  *  Goodnight Children Everywhere by Alli Woods Frederick *  Cabin Fever by Massimo Ankor
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Yes, I remember the house

Yes, I remember the house, I remember it all,

The heavy curtains and the whitewashed wall,

A battered Venus shivering in the trees,

Her plaster hands hiding her nakedness,

And every evening the descending sun,

Washing the roofs, the grass, the window pane,

Fell open like a sheaf, spilling its light

And watched us sit at table half the night:

We hardly spoke, watching the shadows crawl

Across the frugal board and in the hall.

Kisses & Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

image credit:  yes, I remember the house © 2012 alli woods frederick all rights reserved
Posted in CULTURE | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

I have been spending a lot of time thinking…which, if you know me, is both a good thing and a bad thing.  It’s a bad thing if you have to spend time with me.  I become withdrawn and moody.  Spending too much time in my head is not good for me.  It’s a good thing for my art because I have a tendency to be a bit more experimental and expressive (albeit dark).  This week it took the form of (mostly) self-portraits, most of which are based on songs that have been stuck in my head, going round and round like a Ferris wheel.  Here are the end results:
 
 

My Life in Instagram-vision:
PHOTOS GALORE

 
 

“I’ve got the spirit but lose the feeling”

Photos Galore

 
 

“the lost & forgotten”


 
 

“she’s lost control again…”

Photos Galore

 
 

“another time undone”


 
 

“you’re plugged into the itch”


 
 

“with your feet in the air and your head on the ground”


 
 

“God loves his children”


 
 

“If you go away, as I know you will, you must tell the world to stop turning…”

Photos Galore

 
 

And of course a week wouldn’t be a week without a picture of the ever-fabulous Mischa The Wonder Cat.  He loves to pretend he’s mysterious & intense, but he’s just a big ol’ ball of love.

my baby.

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

image credits:  all images © 2012 alli woods frederick.  all rights reserved.
Posted in MY LIFE, PHOTOGRAPHY | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

I stumbled across Tristanography through instagram and became an instant fan of his work.  He has a unique eye and sense of humor that can be seen in his photography.  I highly suggest you go see for yourself.  I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts you become a fan.  But before you do allow me to present to you:

The Same 7 with Tristanography

1) In 10 words or less tell us what makes you so freakin’ awesome…and don’t be modest. Let ‘er rip.

Me ! Awesome ! Tattoos, Bad attitude coupled with a morbid creativity and a quest for something else.

2) Did you (or do you currently) have an imaginary friend(s)? If so, tell us a little about him/her/it/them.

Ridiculous question – of course not – although I do get messages from John Lennon occasionally.

3) Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes – have you never seen my mum without her makeup on ?

4) What one thing scares the ever-loving crap out of you more than anything else in the whole wide world?

Being made to listen to a lighthouse family CD , If I ever meet the lead singer I will cut his head off.

5) Sunrise, sunset, new moon or full moon?

Sunrise – I have always been an early bird – although early to rise made me neither wealthy nor wise.

6) If you had to live the rest of your life inside one book or movie, what would it be and why?

Easy – The Beatles by Hunter Davis – And i would stay in 1967 with the fab four and change history by making them the fab five, i would have made a great Beatle.

7) It’s the zombie apocalypse. The person you love more than anyone, anywhere, ever has been bitten by one of the walking dead. It is inevitable that they will turn into a flesh-eating monster. What do you do?

I see you have met my ex-girlfriend then ! this is simple I would Take a photo and post it to instagram. prob with xpro filter to give her a little colour.

Here’s a little space that’s all yours.  Do with it what you will.  Draw a picture, tell us about a current project, pet peeve, new product, write a haiku about unicorns, recount your bigfoot sighting…you get the idea. It’s all yours.

I am getting back into the street photography thing at the moment which is nice having had a bit of a dry patch – London street photography next and continue with my Dark Childrens toys theme.

Current Project – Finishing off the leg Tattoo with Curly my Tattoomonger !  Pet Peeve – Brown shoes with black trousers – this will never ever be cool.

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

image credit:  all images © tristanography
Posted in PEOPLE, PHOTOGRAPHY | Tagged | Leave a comment

“Relationships are all there is.  Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else.  Nothing exists in isolation.  We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.”

– Margaret Wheatley

Self-reliance is all fine and good but at the end of the day we all need each other.  We need contact.  We need connections.  We need love.

Let’s be love.

Kisses & Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

image credit: Isolation by Michael Heiss
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