Guest Blogger Static White

Today the morbidly magical Static White is helping spread her unique brand of holiday cheer with her furry and fabulous Yeti Foot Ornament (or stocking) Tutorial.  If you like your holiday traditions slightly less conventional then you’re going to love this.  Let’s get our craft on.

 

A Holiday How-To: Yeti Foot Ornament

Yeti Foot Ornament-FINAL
 

Yeti Foot Ornament

Supplies:

A sheet of Grey Felt (one 8x12ish piece was enough for two Yeti Foot Ornaments)

Scrap of White Felt – apx 3″ x 2″

3/8″ Ribbon

Thread

Fabric Glue

Straight Pins

Scissors

Ornament Hook/String

 

Optionals:

Small scraps of Green & Red Felt for holly

Ribbon, Ribbon and more Ribbon

Any small embellishments you have laying about

 

Instructions:

  • Cut the Claws piece from your scrap of White Felt.
  • Fold the Grey Felt in half, long edge to long edge. Pin your Yeti Foot Upper along the fold of your Felt as indicated and cut.

 
Proof That Yetis Exist: A Holiday How*To with Static White
 

  • Unfold the remaining sheet of Grey Felt and cut the Yeti Foot Sole from one of the left over hanging pieces.
  • Before you remove the pattern piece from the Yeti Foot Sole, slip a pin under the pattern and through the Felt to mark the center front (CF). Repeat at the center back (CB).

 
Proof That Yetis Exist: A Holiday How*To with Static White
 

  • Using just a wee bit of glue to hold it in place, attach the Claws to the wrong side (inside) of the Yeti Foot Sole. Using the pin as a centering guide, centering the middle claw to the pin, but take care not to glue it into you ornament! Remove the pin and put aside to dry.

 
Proof That Yetis Exist: A Holiday How*To with Static White
 

  • Leave the Yeti Foot Upper folded in half and pin along the center front. Sew it closed from end to end with a shallow whip or blanket stitch.

 
Proof That Yetis Exist: A Holiday How*To with Static White
 

  • When your Yeti Foot Sole piece with Claws is dry, line up the center front point (CF) of the Yeti Foot Sole with the center front seam of the Upper Foot, pin. Repeat with the center back (CB) of the Yeti Foot Sole to the center back of the Yeti Foot Upper.
  • Pin both sides of the Yeti Foot Sole to the Upper and stitch.

 
Proof That Yetis Exist: A Holiday How*To with Static White
 

  • Cut a 3/8” wide piece of ribbon about 1 1/2″ long, fold it in half and stitch to the top edge of the Foot at center back. This is for the ornament hook/string to go through so you can hang it.

Embellish as you see fit: bows, bells… you know, whatever you normally decorate shrunken yeti feet with for the holidays. I stitched a scrap of 7/8” ribbon around the top and free-hand cut some holly leaves and berry for the front.  A little glue, a couple of stitches and voila! Also, stuff a little tissue in it from toe to heel to help keep it’s shape.  Even a bit of paper towel works in a pinch –that’s what I used.
 
Yeti Foot Ornament-FINAL
 
Not only will your Yeti Foot Ornament turn heads and get strange looks but it’s great for hiding money or candy in for the kids to find, too.

Get crazy and enlarge the pattern for a creepy-cute holiday stocking! (Don’t forget to add seam allowance.)

Have fun, get creative and send pics, I’d love to see them.
 
 

XX,

Static White

 

Download the Yeti Foot Ornament Pattern

 

About The Author – Static White

Dahlia-Me1I am a native of New York City now transplanted to Nashville! I love caffeine, creating the things that scrabble around in my head and working in the fae hours.
Weird, wonderful, and random, my items are generally one/few of a kind.  I’ve been sewing, crafting and creating since I was 5yrs old thanks to my Gramma. I was also lucky enough to go to the “Fame” school (F. Laguardia HS – Music, Art & the Preforming Arts) and FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology).  I love creating quality handmade items whether it’s clothing, dolls, or various forms of art. Gramma was right when she told me it’s not worth doing if you don’t do it right. I double stitch, serge, trim, fray check and so on. I want my creations to last and be enjoyed for a long time to come!

My main shop is @ http://SWStitchery.etsy.com
You can find my supply/destash @ http://StaticWhite.Etsy.com

To keep up to date on all that is Static White’s Stitchery…

 

 

 

 

Yeti Foot Ornament by Maya Bowen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.
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MY NAME IS ALLI AND I’M A TATTOOED DEGENERATE.

 

 *I had some technical issues with my webcam so feel free to read instead of watch…or watch instead of read…whichever makes you happy.   I know the video came out crappy but I swear I still love you.  It’s not a passive-aggressive attempt at driving you crazy.  I promise.*

 

REGARDING DAVID WHITLEY'S HATEFUL TATTOO REMARKS

 

 

REGARDING DAVID WHITLEY’S HATEFUL TATTOO REMARKS

 

I need to get something off my chest.  The other night my honey brought an AOL “news” article to my attention.  The piece was “Colin Kaepernick ushers in an inked-up NFL quarterbacking era”  by one David Whitley.  I do not, nor have I ever, given a damn about sports, let alone quarterbacks, but this article really got my goat.  Whitley’s piece was overflowing with what I, and others, perceive as bigotry…towards people with tattoos.

At what I think I’m supposed to assume was an attempt at wit, Whitley made numerous hateful and ignorant remarks about people who don body art, with such insightful commentary as:

 

“Approximately 98.7 percent of the inmates at California’s state prison have tattoos. I don’t know that as fact, but I’ve watched enough “Lockup” to know it’s close to accurate. “

– David Whitley

 

“That’s what makes Kaepernick a threat to the stereotype.  By all accounts, he’s polite, hard working, humble and has never been to prison.”

– David Whitley

 

Or how about saying that no CEO would ever have a tattoo “unless your CEO has done a stretch in Leavenworth.”

Wow.  I honestly had no idea there where people who still thought this way.  I don’t see how, if someone leaves their house and interacts at all with the outside world they can still hold the opinion that only reprobates and moral degenerates have tattoos.  He references middle-aged women with barbed wire tattoos, FFS.  I mean really?  Such archaic observations leave me to believe that the entirety of his tattoo knowledge comes from watching old hairband videos, Pamela Anderson movies and reruns of COPS.   I thought we, as a society, had moved past this non-issue of issues.

Just when I thought his article couldn’t possibly irk me more, Whitley busts out with the most trite and oft hypocritical argument of all against tattoos:

 

“But I can’t shake the notion that a person’s body is a temple, and you don’t cover temples in graffiti.”

– David Whitley

 

 

REGARDING DAVID WHITLEY'S HATEFUL TATTOO REMARKS

 

*ya-a-a-a-a-awn*

This “argument” is so tired.  When people claim bodies are temples I always want to ask them what their eating habits and exercise regimen are like.  Do they smoke?  Drink alcohol?  Don’t feed me that line of crap if you don’t take care of your own body. 

 

AND FOR THE RECORD, EVERY TEMPLE I’VE EVER BEEN IN HAS BEEN ADORNED, DECORATED AND BEAUTIFUL.  I’M JUST SAYIN’…

 

Whitley’s article had many calling him out on his nasty remarks.  Some even went so far as to brand him a racist.  Wanting to get things under control, Garry Howard of AOL News quickly issued a follow-up piece (Generations, not races, divide opinions on Colin Kaepernick’s tattoos) in defense of Whitley.  In what was supposed to be damage control, Howard’s article did nothing more than feed the fire.

 

“Too often in today’s society, great discussions are ground into dust because many find it impossible to articulate specifically what bothers them about a certain subject. “

– Garry Howard

 

Are you kidding me?  Whether or not quarterbacks should have tattoos is a “great discussion?”  And if Whitley has difficulty articulating his thoughts then why the hell is he writing for AOL?

Throughout Howard’s piece Whitley continued to make statements that further demonstrated his severe lack of education on the matters at hand.

 

“I fully realize sailors and Hell’s Angels aren’t the only people with tattoos these days. But tattoos still carry a negative stigma, which is why you don’t see a lot of politicians and captains of industry sporting ink.”

– David Whitley

 

REGARDING DAVID WHITLEY'S HATEFUL TATTOO REMARKS

 

Sorry Charlie.  Whitley needs to employ a fact checker.  There are an ample number of American politicians who have tattoos.  Yup.  It’s a fact, Jack.  Jesse Jackson has a tattoo.  So did Barry Goldwater and Teddy Roosevelt.  The list of tattooed politicians is longer than you’d think.  Teddy Roosevelt, guys.  I mean, come on. The president who gave us the teddy bear sported a family crest on his chest. 

As for the “negative stigma…”

 

I KNOW ONCOLOGISTS WHO HAVE TATTOOS AS WELL AS TEACHERS, LAWYERS, ARTISTS, ENGINEERS AND OTHER DECENT, WELL EDUCATED, UPRIGHT, PROFESSIONAL LAW ABIDING CITIZENS. 

 

Blaming Whitley’s views on the generation gap would be fine if Whitley were merely stating his distaste for body art, but his insistence that those of us with tattoos are degenerates who are inevitably bound for the pokey demonstrates a complete disconnect with modern society.

To you, Garry Howard I say nice try at spinning this, but your attempt at covering your and David’s asses is a swing and a miss.  Back peddle all you like but there is no misunderstanding Whitley’s remarks.  I, for one, am not buying that the article simply didn’t come across as intended.  The jabs and slights where obvious and intentional.

 

IF THESE TWO POORLY EXECUTED ARTICLES ARE EXAMPLES OF WHAT PASSES FOR “NEWS” THEN I FEAR OR THE FUTURE OF JOURNALISM.

 

Sorry to rant (actually I’m not) but these two articles royally pissed me off.  If you don’t like tattoos that’s fine. We all have different tastes and different opinions and we are all entitled to them.  However, saying that everyone with tattoos is a convict and implying a lack of morals & good judgment is not only incorrect, but unacceptable.  I don’t judge people for not having tattoos and they shouldn’t judge me for mine. 

Hopefully the tongue lashings Whitley has received from the internet community will open his eyes to his ignorance and help him, and other like him, realize the old adage is true:  You can’t judge a book by its cover.

Ahhhhhh…I feel better now.  Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

 

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

 

Do you have tattoos?  What are your thoughts on his opinions?  Pop over to my facebook page and join the discussion or leave your thoughts in the comments below.

 

 

Tattooed Kisses & Opinionated Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

 

 

IMAGES  ::  FROM MY WEDDING © 2010 TRINITY RIDGE PHOTOGRAPHY  ::  MIHA MIHA  ::  TEDDY ROOSEVELT
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november 2012 instagram resize

I love November.  The leaves fall from the trees leaving the branches stripped bare, exposing a whole new world.  The air becomes crisp & we turn our attention to family, gratitude & joy.  All the pumpkin flavored everything is a definite perk too.  Yes.  I love November.

 

 

 

Kisses & Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

 

images: © 2012 alli woods frederick all rights reserved
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Tis the season for festive holiday fetes – which means opportunities to get all gussied up and prettified.  I love an excuse to get my glam on.  My style can be, admittedly, a bit theatrical & costume-y (you can take the girl out of the theater but you can’t take the theater out of the girl) and these pieces are no exception.  Santa, I sure hope you’re paying attention.  I’ve been a good girl (for the most part…but let’s not get into that, shall we) this year.

Holiday Parties

December Wishlist Holiday Season Must Haves

 

1)  snow white necklace   2)  retro white satin dress  3)  red crinoline  4)  along came a spider earrings  5)   silver shimmer eyeshadow by lime crime  6)  let them eat cake perfume by tokyo milk   7)  one day I’ll fly heels by Irregular Choice  8)  silver sparkle skull ring  9)  silver oyster purse 

New Year’s Eve

December Wishlist Holiday Season Must Haves

1)  gold glitter dress   2)  the perfect shade of lipstick    3)  spiked bracelets   4)  gold sparkle bow ring   5)   count down the new year with this Betsey Johnson purse   6)  fabulous faux fur coat   7)  black and gold glitter heals   8)  eye makeup remover balm 

 

Kisses & Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

 

*this post contains affiliate links*
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*at the moment this photo was taken, Mischa was helping me figure out how to play the letter Q without any vowels.

At this moment I am

***Obsessing over:  Christmas presents for my family.  I LOVE giving presents…and I’m pretty damn good at it if I do say so myself.  I pride myself on picking out thoughtful gifts for the people I love.  I want their gifts to be something that they can pick up in 20 years and find just as much joy and love in them as they did on the day they received them.   I always try to make the gift giving experience special, as it should be…themed and color coordinated wrapping paper, ribbons, bows, bags, tags, cards…you get the idea.  I’m plotting my color scheme right this very moment.  This year I’m debating between an aubergine/gold combo or an icy lilac/silver….possibly even a monochromatic color scheme of all warm winter whites.  And I just realized I have too much time on my hands.  I can’t help it.  I just love spreading joy and creating beautiful things.  I’m also completely obsessed with white Christmas trees…(and those cute pastel pink ones…but I would never subject my honey to a pink tree) I just love ‘em to bits.

 

***Working on:  New ideas and goodies – ways to make your experience here more awesome and bring you more yummy goodness & buckets of weird.  I’m designing some custom wedding invitations for the absolute sweetest & most awesome couple on the planet.  I’m also working on a special holiday download for you cause I love you like that.  MUWHA! (or SWAK if that’s more to your liking.)
 

***Thinking about:  New beginnings…and old beginnings, if there is such a thing…and if there’s not, there is now.  It’s amazing the way things change, shift and slide to make room for the new (or the old).   There are times I struggle against The Universe.  I question its motives.  I doubt the process.  I swim against the current.  How much easier would life be if, when faced with difficult times, I trusted that The Powers That Be know exactly what they’re doing and quit fighting them kicking and screaming.  As a type A personality it’s challenging for me to let go and acknowledge that my sense of control is illusory.  I’m going to work on that.
 

***Listening to:   “We’re Alive:  A Story of Survival.”   It’s a zombie radio drama of exceptional quality and the season 3 finale is just around the corner.  December 5th the hour long finale will be streaming live.  I am crazy excited.  If your glass of wine just exploded it’s because of all the high pitched super sonic squealing I’m doing.  The only down side?  Season 4 is the final season.  That’s it.  No more. *sniffle sniffle*  When I think about the series ending my mouth turns into an upside down smile.   If you aren’t listening to We’re Alive you can download ALL the episodes FOR FREE from ITunes and Zune. (If you’re already a fan then make sure to read my Same 7 interview with the co-creator, director, writer, sound designer, & show-runner, Kc Wayland.  He’s not only hilarious but accomplished as well.)
 

***Drinking:  My local bookstore has a killer spiced pumpkin chai latte that I can’t get enough of.  I’m also still bonkers over iced green tea lattes (I usually make my own, but Starbucks works in a pinch) & lavender kombucha.  Yes, I said lavender kombucha…heaven!  I finally tracked down DRY soda (for which I have been tirelessly searching for almost a year) and I was not disappointed.  It’s fresh, dry (as the name states), crisp and tastes…green(?), for lack of a better description.  The lavender (noticing a trend here?) and rhubarb are yummy.  Bonus:  they aren’t too sweet and are low in calories.  Certainly not your grandpa’s soda, these require a slightly more adventurous palette.  I can’t wait to try the vanilla bean.  Up next on my neverending beverage adventure:  avocado milkshakes…whether or not it’s a drink is debatable but I’m just going to roll with it.
 

***Wishing:  I want everyone to have lives filled with laughter, joy and miracles.  I want everyone to find wonder in the little things in life.  I want everyone to know love…that is my wish. I wish you all the overflowing, radiant, rapturous joy that is love.  That’s not too much to wish for, is it?

 

Kisses &  Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

 

images:  © 2012 Alli Woods Frederick all rights reserved 
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