Posted on 03/08/2014 by alli woods frederick

I would rather be horizontal

 

I would rather be horizontal

 

I Am Vertical

By Sylvia Plath

 

But I would rather be horizontal.
I am not a tree with my root in the soil
Sucking up minerals and motherly love
So that each March I may gleam into leaf,
Nor am I the beauty of a garden bed
Attracting my share of Ahs and spectacularly painted,
Unknowing I must soon unpetal.
Compared with me, a tree is immortal
And a flower-head not tall, but more startling,
And I want the one’s longevity and the other’s daring.

Tonight, in the infinitesimal light of the stars,
The trees and the flowers have been strewing their cool odors.
I walk among them, but none of them are noticing.
Sometimes I think that when I am sleeping
I must most perfectly resemble them —
Thoughts gone dim.
It is more natural to me, lying down.
Then the sky and I are in open conversation,
And I shall be useful when I lie down finally:
Then the trees may touch me for once, and the flowers have time for me.

 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 

– thank you to Kristamas Klousch for reminding me of this gem.

 

image  ::  bubbles by lizthayra carreras  ::
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Posted on 03/06/2014 by alli woods frederick

WEREWOLVES COLORBLIND

 

ONCE AGAIN I’ve avoided the obvious route for this week’s Project 52 theme, colorblind.

YES it occurred to me that I could take a nice and simple black and white photo.

YES it occurred to me to make a political statement about interracial relationships.

YES it occurred to me that I could forsake all I hold dear and create my most despised of images: the selective color photo. *skin begins to crawl*

(No idea what the hell I’m talking about?  It’s the photographic equivalent of brushing your teeth and drinking orange juice.  Here’s a post of “outstanding” selective color photos.  I know a lot of people really like these but I find them obvious and feel that if you’re doing your job as a photographer you don’t need to cram the focus of the image down my throat by making it stand out in such an intrusive way.  I think every single photo in that post would have been a stronger image if done in either full color or black and white. End rant here.)

AND THEN it occurred to me (because my mind is warped in ways even I don’t understand) that I could address the question of whether or not werewolves would adopt the canine attribute of colorblindness.  So there you have it.  That was the “great” inspiration.  I was told these images are dark but I find them humorous once placed in context…but remember, my mind is warped so who am I to say…

 

ARE WEREWOLVES COLORBLIND?

 

9/52
Theme: Colorblind
Titles: Lycanthropy no1 & Lycanthropy no2

werewolves colorblind

 

werewolves colorblind

*note: it’s really hard to see at this size in the first image, easier in the second, but I do, actually, have pointy wolf ears and fangs.  If there were a way for me to show these to you in full print resolution (think 12×12) then the details would be clearer.  Sorry for the loss of detail that inevitably happens when sizing for the web. *pouty face*

 

SO WHAT do you think?  Are werewolves colorblind?  What human traits, if any, do you think they would have?  And most importantly, is it weird that these are the things I think about when I’m relaxing?  Yeah.  It’s weird.  I know.  But I’m okay with it.  At least I’m always entertained.

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 

PS – The Haus of Chaos at Society6 is having a kickass sale right now.

TAKE $5 OFF EVERY SINGLE ITEM
(not just off your total but EVERY item)

werewolves colorblind

AND get FREE WORLDWIDE SHIPPING*.   BA-BAM!  No code needed.  Just click The Haus of Chaos, add items to your basket and the discount will magically appear in your cart.  And did I mention I now have a line of shower curtains?  Yup.  Because clocks, pillows, prints, iphone cases and tote bags just weren’t enough…and because I lurve ya like that, babe.

*Promotion expires March 9, 2014 at Midnight Pacific Time. Offer excludes Framed Art Prints, Stretched Canvases and Throw Pillows with insert.
 
 

images  ::  all images © 2014 alli woods frederick. all rights reserved. reposting or use of any kind without express written permission is strictly prohibited.  I’ve been having an issue lately with people stealing my work and I hate being a hard ass.  I always find the thieves eventually and I am a hard ass, but I hate it.  A lot.  So don’t make me rain hell fire down upon you, not to mention Karma coming to kick your ass.  Double whammy.  I’d rather be all lovey dovey.  So if you want to use it, please just ask first.  Just ask.  It takes two seconds and unless you’re using it for something horrible, trying to claim it as your own, allowing people to download it or trying to sell it I’ll probably say it’s fine.  Just quit with the f*cking stealing.  Okay?  ::
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Posted on 03/03/2014 by alli woods frederick

 

IN A WORLD filled with noise – cars, planes, music, television, ads, cell phones…you get the idea – and constant connection we can start to go a little crazy.  And that doesn’t even include all the talking we do.

OUR BRAIN is bombarded with hundreds of sounds at any given moment, most of which we tune out, but day after day, week after week, month after month it can start to weigh you down.  Enter this beautifully illustrated piece of advice.

 

It’s time for less talking and more listening.

 

Less Talking, More Listening

by Dan Christofferson

 

STUCK in the urban jungle with no hope of escape in the foreseeable future?  LastFM has a nature sounds channel…if you can’t make it, fake it and find a little peace.

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

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Posted on 02/28/2014 by alli woods frederick

 

my one nightstand

 

I LOVE BOOKS so I thought sharing my current reads with you was long overdue.  So please join me in welcoming the newest Kisses & Chaos feature, My One Nightstand: a rundown of the books that are currently on my nightstand.  I’m sure you were hoping for something more tawdry.  Sorry to disappoint, but if there’s one thing you know by now it’s that I never kiss & tell, so get those naughty minds out of the gutter, my dears.

THIS MONTH’S offerings couldn’t be more diverse and each is riveting in its own fashion. If you decide to read any of them, please do let me know what you think. I love any opportunity to geek out over books (along with a million other things, but books are pretty high on the list).

 

My One Nightstand

one nightstand

 

*  The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things by JT LeRoy

IF YOU AREN’T familiar with the giant scam that was author JT LeRoy then you’re missing out on half the story.  This book, along with his/her (there was speculation as to LeRoy true gender) other book Sarah were supposedly auto-biographical accounts of a child’s horrible life at the hands of a mother who was a “lot lizard,” a charming name for truck stop prostitutes, who subjected her child to numerous traumas including prostitution.  LeRoy was later revealed to be a hoax. Every word published was a lie.

THE WHOLE STORY is rather shocking as Leroy had celebrity friends, a band and had become quite the hot ticket all the while remaining elusive and fairly reclusive.  The elaborate hoax and LeRoy mystique sold books hand over fist and even led to a film.

DESPITE ALL THE LIES (which are fascinating…you really should read up on it…hoaxes are always fascinating), the books are fantastic, albeit it very dark, graphic and disturbing.  This will be my second read of The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things.  I’m hoping it will be as good as I remember it.

 

*  Not In Kansas Anymore: A Curious Tale of How Magic is Transforming America
by Christine Wicker

I’M ONLY two chapters in and I find it fascinating, despite what I consider to be the rather sad & jaded views of the author (but she is a journalist by trade so there you have it).  Wicker’s voice is strong, compelling and witty.  I find myself literally laughing out loud (which is always a bit awkward when reading in a public place).

WHETHER YOU BELIEVE in magic or not this is a great read.  Not only for the way in which it addresses magic and magical thinking across cultures but it also touches on some of the more, shall we say, hilariously dramatic characters of the goth and vampire subcultures…and if you belong to or are familiar with either of these then you’ll no doubt recognize some of the “types” she encounters in her quest.

PERFECT for the person who usually finds non-fiction dry and dull, Not in Kansas Anymore is quickly turning into a favorite that will remain on my bookshelf for years to come.

 

*  The Letters of Ernest Hemingway, 1907-1922 Vol. 1

THIS BOOK is pretty self-explanatory.  It is a (almost) complete collection of Ernest Hemingway’s personal letters beginning with his childhood.  Naturally, some letters are missing, some were intentionally destroyed by request, and some are still hidden in boxes left in dusty attic corners to someday be discovered, I’m sure.

IF YOU WANT to see the real man, the real Hemingway, then this is it.  There is no better way to know a man’s heart and nature than by the words he shares with those he most loves in his life and Hemingway is no exception.

I CAN’T WAIT to read the rest of the volumes as he grows from boy to man and watch the evolution of the heart and mind of one of the world’s greatest authors.

 

WHAT BOOK is on your bedside table?  Do tell, do tell.  I’m always eager for new reads.  Let your nerd flag fly and share in the comments below or on my facebook page.

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 

images  ::  © 2014 alli woods frederick.  all rights reserved.  use without express written permission is forbidden and will result in some seriously sh*t-tastic karma for you, so keep your karma clean and don’t steal.  ::
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Posted on 02/26/2014 by alli woods frederick

 

judging a fish

IT’S TIME for this week’s Project 52 offering.  The theme for week eight was “bright.”  I had several concepts in mind for this project, most of which were obvious and dealt with literal brightness, but let’s be honest…that’s just not me.  Well, not typically.

I DO have the occasional bizarre Lisa Frank moment where I channel unicorns shooting rainbows out their ass in fields of twerking poppies as naked gnomes frolic in some ancient sacrificial (but cheery and festive) rite and it rains pink and yellow glitter from the sky.  But this was not one of those moments.

 

8/52
Theme: Bright
Title:  Hidden Talents

judging a fish
 
I’M GOING to break with my tradition of leaving this up to interpretation and actually tell the story of this shot.  The inspiration was a combination of a something you sometimes hear here in The South and an Einstein quote:

“Bless her heart…she’s just not that bright.”
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

(I’ll leave it to you to figure out which belongs to Einstein. *wink*)

THIS GIRL, clearly considered to be lacking in brightness by her teachers and peers, has been forced to don a dunce cap and left standing in the corner.  But much to her teacher’s and classmates’ surprise, the girl they thought to be a dullard has a secret; hidden magical talents which she proudly displays by manifesting and growing a seedling in front of their very eyes as a big ol’ f**k  you to those you have put her down and tried to make her feel less than she is.

 

The lesson here?
Judging a fish is ill advised.

 

I THINK  we’re all guilty of judging fish.  We place our own expectations on people.  We expect them to behave and react as we would.  But that’s simply not the way the world works.

WE ARE, each of us, individuals.  We all have our gifts.  We all have our talents.  Some of us bring light to the machinations of the universe through science.  Some of us walk with one foot in the material world and one foot in the spirit world.  Some of us have the ability to connect with animals and children on their level.  Some of us make the most badass pumpkin bread in the world.  Some of us can fix a car with a piece of chewing gum and a twist tie.

NEVER LET SOMEONE else make you feel less than the brilliant miracle that you are.  You are a genius, my amazing little fish…each and every one of you.  Now go be brilliant.

What’s your hidden talent?  What do you do better than anyone else in the world?  Share your gift in the comments below.  Show off that genius and let it shine for all of us to see.

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 

image  ::  © 2014 alli woods frederick photography.  all rights reserved.  use without express written permission is forbidden and guaranteed to bring you bad karma, a plague of locusts and 20 years of really, really bad hair…and I mean tragically bad hair…the kind that makes you weep every time you look in the mirror and causes children in the street to cry while screaming and pointing in terror.  So don’t steal my work.  Period.  ::
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