I Have A Confession To Make:
I am a pessimist by nature. I admit it. I am not a bubbly, bouncing, enthusiastic person 24-7. My natural tendency is to expect the worst and hope for the best. I am prone to bouts of moodiness and sarcasm and my words can be cutting when I’ve been scorned. Does this seem contrary to what I write about and focus on here?
I talk a lot about being and focusing on positivity but that isn’t me just spouting garbage. I’m not a hypocrite. I work hard every day to be a more positive person. Some days it’s easy. Some days it’s hard. Just like everyone else on the planet, I do the best I can every day. Some days I am in a crabby mood. I might wake up late, misplace my car keys, stub my toe while I’m rushing out the door for work, and hit every single red light along the way. Other days things flow; everything comes easily, including the smiles.
Why Am I Telling You This?
I’ve noticed there a lot of people that write and talk about PMA (positive mental attitude) and make it sound easy, like some magical cake walk where all you do is “be positive” and *poof* you magically transform into a positive person. I feel presenting positivity in this fashion is doing a bit of a disservice to those of us that find maintaining PMA difficult. For some people (the affirmatively gifted, shall we say?) it is that simple. For some of us, it is not, and when you’re being told “It’s so easy!” while you struggle…well…it makes you feel slightly less than. It makes you feel broken and wondering “What’s wrong with me? Why is this so hard when it seems so easy for everyone else?”
I am constantly working on my positivity; trying to control my thoughts and skew them towards the positive with ever greater ease. It is challenging work for me. It is hard to break those bad thought habits and quiet that nasty little chattering voice that constantly tries to undermine me and find, if not the worst, then at least the “not best” in a situation.
If It’s So Hard Then Why Bother?
I bother because, on the days when I successfully coral my stray thoughts and feelings and spend more time being truly present and self aware, I am happier. I am the Uber-Alli: doer of good deeds, sharer of laughter, light and joy; a creative and clever powerhouse that is fun to be around; I am supportive and understanding…and when you spread that positivity around it is usually reflected back, making it a little easier to keep the positive momentum going, like a joy filled mobius strip.
So, if you aren’t one of the aforementioned affirmatively gifted and are, like me, positivity challenged, it’s OK. It’s OK to have a bad day…we all do. It’s OK to struggle with those persistent, nagging negative voices you’ve been hearing most of your life. It gets a little easier every day. Just don’t give up. You are the master of your thoughts and feelings. You call the shots. How you think and feel is entirely up to you. You are in control…and you can do it. Don’t be dismayed by crap-tacular days. They aren’t the end of the world. Besides, you have another opportunity to start fresh and try again tomorrow.
Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick
PS-If you are new to the power of positive thinking check out Louis L Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life.“ It will get you started on the right track. Is the concept of PMA old hat for you but you find yourself struggling? Pick up a set of my Pocket Sized Positivity Cards to keep handy for days when you’re feeling less than stellar and need a positive thought (and lovely photography) to focus on.