Why in the world are diets and douches part of Mystery Monday? Simple. It’s a mystery women have survived with their organs and minds safely intact after insanity such as this. Insanity? Yes. Think I’m exaggerating? Just take a look at these lovely gems. These are actual advertisements. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
Did your marriage fail?
I’ll bet you didn’t know that using the proper hygiene product could have made a difference. Think I’m wrong? Pfffffft. Shows what you know…Lysol knows what men really want.
Are you lacking charm, beauty and self-confidence?
I’ll bet you can guess what the cause is, can’t you? Oh, come now. Clearly your self-esteem issues are due to your dirty, smelly girl bits. Thank god there’s a cure for that!
Do you suck at being a Mom?
Clearly you aren’t using Lysol, as all good mothers do. Is there nothing this miracle product can’t do?
Tired of carrying around those few extra pounds?
One word: tapeworms! Just swallow these pills and let the parasites do all the work for you. Eat as much as you like! Don’t exercise! Sure they’re highly dangerous, but hey! It’s so very, very worth it.
Think things have changed since these ads have run? Hmmmmmmm. Next time you see an ad for breast enhancement, wrinkle creams, or diet pills ask yourself what the ads are really saying and what they’re really selling. I’d say it’s quite the mystery indeed…
Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick
image credits: unknown