The holidays – that magical time of year when families & friends come together to celebrate, give thanks & get on each other’s last nerve.  Yes we love our family and friends dearly.  We love them so much that they develop a unique talent that only those closest to our hearts possess:  the ability to get under our skin & annoy us in ways that drive us to near homicidal states of frustration and irritation.  I know it can seem impossible at times to give thanks when you’re on the verge of a family-induced breakdown but it isn’t a pipe dream.  Honest…and here are a few helpful hints to help you through it.

How to be thankful for a family that drives you crazy

START SMALL

When you’re having a hard time finding something about your family to appreciate, start small.  Surely, at the very least, you can be thankful that your grandparents had your parents which in turn had you…and since you’re thankful for being alive (at least I sure hope you are) you can be thankful to those who came before you for giving you life in the first place.

Repeat after me:  “I am thankful to my family for giving me the gift of life.” 

See?  Start small.

LOOK TO YOUR PAST

Ok.  So maybe your brother’s incessant mean-spirited teasing or your grandmother’s endless nagging about your future and why you’re still single is royally pissing you off right now.  Sometimes it can be really really hard to find something in the present to be thankful for.  When that happens just look to your past.  Remember the time your brother stood up for you when you were being bullied or when your grandmother played chinese checkers with you for 6 hours when you had the chicken pox.  You can still be grateful for past events.  Gratitude doesn’t have an expiration date.

HUMANIZE INSTEAD OF DEMONIZE

It’s true that people sometimes set out to push our buttons & family is no exception but sometimes people are just being people and pissing you off is merely a bi-product.  Maybe your Uncle is being cranky because he’s having financial problems that he hasn’t told the family about.  Maybe your cousin is being snippy because she’s having marital issues.  I know it seems shocking to some, but families do keep things from each other.  Privacy exists even in the closest of tribes.  Try giving your loved ones the benefit of the doubt when they drive you nuts.  Approach them & the situation with compassion.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns things around & gratitude starts dripping from every pore.

EMBRACE YOUR INNER ELEPHANT

Never forget that, no matter how much you all fuss, complain & argue, you are family.  Never forget you love each other.  I don’t know about you but I am always grateful for love.  Whether I’m giving it or receiving it, love always makes me feel amazing and I am always thankful for it.  If you stop and remember you love your family (even if they make you want to run blindfolded into traffic half the time) you’re sure to stop being mad and start being grateful.  Love is pretty awesome like that.

Sometimes it can be easy to take loved ones for granted and lose sight of not only the spirit of the holiday but of family as well.  How wonderful it is to have a holiday that’s dedicated to the act and art of saying “Thank you.”  This Thanksgiving let’s take the time to appreciate how lucky we are to have family & friends we love…even if they drive us crazy sometimes.  

What are your holiday tips & tricks for handling family gatherings?

Kisses & Chaos,

Alli Woods Frederick

images:  florence welch & the machines via cardigan empire  |  thanksgiving by bethany shorb  |  via Friday Light  |  cute kids via ephemera obscura  |  posada’s demons  |  dovima with elephants by richard avedon  |  vintage thanksgiving card  |