my Dead Roommate Robert

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MISSED PART I OF MY TRUE TALE OF MY FAVORITE DEAD ROOMMATE (SO FAR), ROBERT, YOU CAN CATCH UP ON IT HERE.  TRUST ME.  THIS WON’T MAKE MUCH SENSE IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE FIRST HALF OF THE STORY, SO POP OVER AND HAVE  A QUICK READ.  THEN YOU CAN POP BACK HERE AND JOIN US IN MY RECOUNTING OF THE BEST ROOMMATE EVER (ASIDE FROM MY MISCHA, OF COURSE).

 
 

MY DEAD ROOMMATE ROBERT: PART II

 
 

Now then…where were we.  Ah yes…information coming to light and all that incorporeal jazz.  So let’s just dive right back into the ether of the Otherside, shall we?  (Answer:  Yes, we shall.)

 
 

my Dead Roommate Robert

Throughout my relationship with Herman* I always had a nagging feeling he was sticking his dirty little dangle where it didn’t belong, even while we were on the road together.  Of course, anytime I would ask a question I was met with the same response as when I first told him about our ghost:  “You’re f’ing crazy, bitch.”  (Did I ever mention he was charming?  No?  There’s a reason for that.)

 

THERE IS A POINT TO AIRING THIS DIRTY LAUNDRY, SO BEAR WITH ME.  I SWEAR IT’S RELEVANT.

 

Herman’s behavior became more suspicious until one day one of my best friends came by to inform me she had been sleeping with him…and so had many, many others.  As I pulled the knife out of my back, I rattled off a list of names of girls I had long suspected he’d been with and she confirmed them all.

 
 

my Dead Roommate Robert

 
 

She and I parted ways (we’re on good terms now and all has been forgiven) and I turned my attention to the womanizer living under my roof to try to patch things up…because I’m infinitely forgiving…and infinitely stupid.  And so we tried.  And things seemed to be improving.

Our as yet unnamed invisible-ish roommate still made his presence known but the oppressive and sometimes inappropriate staring, had ceased.  He was content to just kick it and hang out, watch the X-Files with me and stay pretty quiet.

 

LIFE KEPT CHUGGING ALONG.

 

Shortly after the dirty dick debacle, the three bedroom duplex directly next door became available to rent.  We needed the extra space in a big way and the rent was actually cheaper than the two bedroom we were in (score!) so naturally we jumped on it immediately.

While Herman was off doing Herman things (whatever those were…I still have no idea), I moved all our possessions (furniture included) by myself…with the flu (because I’m hardcore…and he was…Herman) into our new home.  I said farewell to my ghostly roommate and settled in to my new home, but it wasn’t long before strange things began to happen in the new house…ghostly things.

 
 

SURELY HE DIDN’T FOLLOW US NEXT DOOR.

my Dead Roommate Robert


 
 

Ghosts aren’t prone to roaming about, let alone following people from place to place.  I had heard at the time that ghosts can become attached to individuals but it’s rare.  Very rare.  The probability of him following us was slim to nil…but weren’t the odds of us moving from one haunted house into one directly next door that was also haunted impossibly slim?

 

WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?

 

It started as before.  The sensation of not being alone (but without the severe paranoia).  The sensation was soon followed by a new event – a man’s voice…when there were no men in the house.

The first time it happened it scared the crap out of me.  I was alone, once again in the bathroom, getting ready for work one afternoon (which was now at a tattoo shop, which meant much more reasonable hours – no more up before the sun to get to work, thank god).

I had just finished rinsing my latest shade of Manic Panic out of my hair (it was purple if I recall correctly) and was setting about styling it when just behind my right shoulder, directly in my right ear I heard a man’s voice, clear as a bell, jokingly say “Freak.”

 
 

I JUMPED OUT OF MY SKIN.

my Dead Roommate Robert


 
 

I was looking in the mirror when it happened and knew full well there was no one standing behind me, but I turned around and looked anyway, jaw dragging on the floor behind me as I spun around and confirmed I was completely alone.  Unless my dog, Lakota or Mischa The Wondercat™ had learned to speak English, there was no living man in that house to utter those words.

I began to hear a man’s voice softly murmuring at various times:  while I listened to Morphine and painted late into the nights; when I was watching a movie; when I was reading…you get the idea.

It didn’t happen to Herman or our new (living) roommate, a fellow former rennie named Grizelda*.  It was only me.  Only when I was alone.  Despite my past experiences in the other house I began to question my sanity.  Our old deceased roommate had never spoken.  He merely hung about.  So hearing voices?  I clearly recall thinking…

 

“SCHIZOPHRENIA STARTS TO REAR ITS HEAD BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18 AND 25.  I’M 22.  I’M HEARING VOICES THAT NO ONE ELSE IS HEARING.  I’VE FINALLY CRACKED.  I MUST BE SCHIZOPHRENIC.  THAT MUST BE IT…SHIT.”

 

A few days after that is when all hell broke loose and it became abundantly clear that I was not losing my mind.  It also became abundantly clear that this house was haunted too…and our old dead roommate had followed us.

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 
 

Ghostly Kisses & Otherworldly Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGES  ::  LOGO © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK  ::  .  – FREDERIC DESMOTS  ::  . – FREDERIC DESMOTS  ::  SING, SING. BLUE SILVER 1 – SYMBOLICINTERACTION  ::  – FREDERIC DESMOTS  ::  UNTITLED – OLIVIER BARDIN  ::

 

*NOT THEIR REAL NAMES.
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Since My Heart Has Been With Yours

 

Since My Heart Has Been With Yours

 
 

IT IS SO LONG SINCE MY HEART HAS BEEN WITH YOURS

-E.E. CUMMINGS

 

it is so long since my heart has been with yours

shut by our mingling arms through
a darkness where new lights begin and increase,
since your mind has walked into
my kiss as a stranger
into the streets and colours of a town –

that I have perhaps forgotten
how, always (from
these hurrying crudities
of blood and flesh)  Love
coins His most gradual gesture,

and whittles life to eternity

– after which our separating selves become museums
filled with skillfully stuffed memories.

– E.E. Cummings

 
 

Missed Kisses & Tangled Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGES  ::  THE RETURN OF THE LETTING GO (A SELF-PORTRAIT) © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  ::

 

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My Dead Roommate

My Dead Roommate


 

It was brought to my attention that I had started telling you one of my own true ghost stories but never finished it.  I wrote a part I but not a part II.  Needless to say I am mortified (no pun intended) at this oversight.  So let’s start at the beginning and try this again, shall we?

 

PLEASE MEET ROBERT, MY DEAD ROOMMATE.

 

I was living in a small two bedroom duplex with my then boyfriend Herman* on Haynes Street in San Marcos, Texas – a small college town about 25 miles south of Austin. We had spent the last two years on the road as rennies and were settling into our non-nomadic life, trading in life in a van for a proper house with a front door and back yard.  It didn’t take long for me to notice something was off in our new home.

 
 

TO QUOTE BILL AND TED, “STRANGE THINGS [WERE] AFOOT AT THE CIRCLE K.”

My Dead Roommate

Whenever I was home alone it felt like I was being watched.  It’s a sensation that’s hard to describe completely but if it happens to you, you’ll know it.  You know how you can feel someone staring at you from across a room?  How you can feel their eyes on you?  It’s like that times a billion.

It was an absolutely overwhelming sense of paranoia unlike anything I had ever experienced before. The sensation was so pronounced that I wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if I turned around and found myself nose to nose with someone.

 

IT WAS THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES TO THE MILLIONTH DEGREE.

 

I ignored my intuition (as I so often do when it comes to my own life…silly thing for an intuitive, don’t you think), chastising myself for being silly and having an overactive imagination.  Herman reinforced this by telling me I was crazy.  He never felt the way I did in the house so obviously I was cuckoo.  But no matter how much I tried to ignore it the feeling persisted…and intensified.

 

OBSCENELY EARLY ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING READY FOR WORK THE WEIRDNESS GOT WEIRDER.

 

As I stood in the bathroom fixing my hair, the door ajar, I saw a pair of men’s legs clad in khaki pants walk past.  No torso, only legs.  I promptly flipped the f*ck out.  It’s not every day you see torsoless legs wandering about the house.

 
 

My Dead Roommate

 
 

I told no one what happened to me that morning (save Herman, who was sweet enough to once again assure me I was batshit crazy).  Shortly after I witnessed the ghostly legs our friend Bob* came for a visit.  Bob, due to our work schedules, was left to his own devices (which consisted of sitting on the couch smoking weed and watching TV) during the day.

One evening several days into his stay Bob informed us we’d had a visitor while we were away.

 
 

“Oh.  Who stopped by?”
“No one.”

My Dead Roommate


 
 

Bob proceeded to tell us of a pair of legs, men’s legs, with no torso and wearing khaki pants that had walked through the living room that afternoon while he was watching a movie.

 

“Son of a bitch!  I told you I wasn’t crazy!”

 

I felt vindicated (and more than a little relieved that I wasn’t completely bonkers).  But this news, while reassuring, raised more questions than it answered.  Who was this man?  Why was here?  Would he stop leering at me and creeping me out if I asked nicely?  If asking nicely didn’t work, would being a colossal bitch work?  And what was with the khaki pants?

It would be four more months before these questions would be answered (except the leering…I immediately asked him to stop and he politely obliged) and how they came to light, how it all unfolded was surprising to say the least…

 

TO BE CONTINUED…(I PROMISE THIS TIME.  X MY HEART.)

 

 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

images :: stories from the great beyond © alli woods frederick :: no title III – juha helttunen ::  . – FREDERIC DESMOTS  ::  guest(s) – yves lecoq ::  HOW TO INITIATE A REVOLUTION – WALTER BREIDENBACH  ::

 

*not their real names

 

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PLEASE WELCOME THE NEW MEMBER IN THE TAROT READING FAMILY:
THE SUPER-DUPER IN-DEPTH YEARLY TAROT READING!

New Member In The Tarot Reading Family

 
 

So what’s the difference between the Super-Duper In-Depth and the Year At A Glance? Depth, baby, depth.

 

IF YEAR AT A GLANCE IS SNORKELING, SUPER-DUPER IN-DEPTH IS SCUBA DIVING.

 

Year At A Glance shows you the single most important circumstance of each month with a single card. Super-Duper In-Depth? Three cards per month, baby.  BAM!

You’ll dive deeper into what each month has in store which means greater understanding and guidance for you. If you’re a detail oriented list maker or just like to be prepared then this reading is perfect for you.

The Super-Duper In-Depth Tarot Readings haven’t officially launched (and won’t until June 5th) but in honor of the newest member of the tarot reading family I’m offering a very special sale at a very special price for a very limited time and in very limited quantities.

 
 

IT’S A PRE-LAUNCH PRE-SALE!

New Member In The Tarot Reading Family


 
 

To celebrate I’m having a pre-launch pre-sale. (The Super-Duper doesn’t officially launch until June 5th.)  So right now we’re going to celebrate with a HUGE pre-launch pre-sale!

 
 

HOW HUGE?

Today through June 3rd I’m offering 6 spaces at $75 off regular price.

 
 

When Super-Duper becomes official on June 5th, the regular price for this mega-reading will be $175. But you can grab yours now for $100 and have your entire year at your fingertips complete with a beautiful pdf sent to your inbox to help you plan and prepare.

 

THAT’S ALMOST 50% OFF REGULAR PRICE!

(I told you it was huge.)

 

If you want to take advantage of this super duper deal, click the button below and enter code MEFIRST at checkout to get $75 off your Super-Duper Reading. That’s it.

 

(Just remember, there are only 6 readings available and this offer goes the way of the dodo bird at 11:59pm CST on June 3rd.)

 

Find out what’s in store for you and your year and plan, baby, plan with your Super-Duper In-Depth Yearly Tarot Reading today.

 

Super-Duper In-Depth Yearly Tarot Reading:

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THE DETAILS:

HOW DOES IT WORK?

You purchase your tarot reading and I email you a detailed pdf of your reading for you to reference as often as you like. It doesn’t get any easier than that.

I perform my readings cold. This means I know nothing about you, your life or your current situations/circumstances. What this means for you is that when you purchase your reading DO NOT include any personal information other than your name and your email address (so you can receive the pdf of your reading). The less I know the better I work.

 
 

DOES THAT MEAN I CAN’T ASK A SPECIFIC QUESTION?

Yup. That is absolutely what it means. If being a reiki master has taught me anything it is that what we think we need and what we actually need are 99.999999999% of the time two completely different things. I let The Universe tell you what you need to know at the time.

 
 

WHEN WILL I RECEIVE MY READING?

Please allow 7 business days (that excludes holidays and weekends) for your Super-Duper In-Depth reading.  These babies take time and involve a lot of love, but I promise it’s worth the short wait.

 
 

INTERESTED?

Then step right up and get your reading today.

 

SUPER-DUPER IN-DEPTH:

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If you have any questions (relevant questions…nothing like “what is the meaning of life, the universe and everything?” when we all know the answer is 42), don’t hesitate to ask.  Fire away, my dears.

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGES  :: © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  ::  SOURCE UNKNOWN  ::

 

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The Times They Are A Changing

 

 

THOSE of you who subscribe to Kiss & Tell™ already know about the changes that are in the works so you can just skip ahead to the end of the post for the new, non-tarot related announcement (which I’m super-excited about).  Those of you who don’t receive Kiss & Tell™, read on because…

 
 

THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING.
HERE’S THE SCOOP.

 

The Times They Are A Changing

 

These babies take a loooong time and a lot of love to do.  Those pretty (and pretty big) pdf’s that come with each reading don’t write themselves and there’s the time it takes to do the reading itself.  There’s a reason there’s a 5 day turn around for them and it’s not laziness.  After careful consideration I’ve decided to change the rate for all Year At A Glance readings.

 

STARTING JUNE 1st, YEAR AT A GLANCE TAROT READINGS WILL CHANGE FROM $55 TO $70 (USD).

 
 

NOW THROUGH MAY 31st I’M OFFERING MY FINAL 6 YEAR AT A GLANCE TAROT READINGS AT THE $55 RATE…AND WHEN THEY’RE GONE, THEY’RE GONE.

 
 

So this is Farewell to 55 and I’m giving you a chance to grab the last of the readings at the $55 rate.  If you’ve been on the fence about getting one, now’s the time to do it.  Snag yours now by clicking the little ’add to cart’ button right down there (checkout is through Paypal so your checkout is 100% secure).

 

GRAB YOUR YEAR AT A GLANCE READING HERE:

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Not familiar with how a Year At A Glance Tarot Reading works?  You can get all the details about the reading (along with rave reviews from my clients) over on the Year At A Glance Tarot Reading page.

 
 

(Did you know you can also purchase readings as gifts?  You totally can!  Just include a note to me during checkout with the name of the recipient, any little note or special instructions (like a delivery date) you’d like to include as well as their email address and I’ll send them an email with a gorgeous gift card attached.  The best part?  They do nothing to redeem it!  Their reading will arrive in the inbox. Wham. Bam. Thank you, ma’am.)

 
 

So if you’ve been putting off getting your reading for the year, now’s the time to pounce before the rates increase forever.  If you have any questions that aren’t covered on the Year At A Glance page, please feel free to give me a holler and I’ll do my best to answer them.

Remember, this offer is only good through May 31st and there are only 6 readings available, so grab yours now…and now for the non-tarot announcement:

 
 

SHE’S GOT LEG(GING)S!

The Times They Are A Changing

 

I’m pleased as punch to announce that I’m releasing my own line of leggings based on my photography and design at The Haus of Chaos at Society6!  I am so insanely excited.

I am a leggings junkie but have a hard time finding ones that suit my tastes.  I’m not fan of neon geometric prints or giant smiley faces or tie dye (What?!?! Really?!? You don’t say).

 
 

IT’S EXCITING TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO CREATE A LINE OF LEGGINGS THAT SPEAK TO MY AESTHETIC…AND HOPEFULLY TO YOURS AS WELL.

The Times They Are A Changing

 
 

I hope you’ll love them as much as I do.  There are only three styles available right now but more will be added over the next several weeks, so make sure to check The Haus of Chaos at Society6 for updates and new pieces.

That’s all for now (but I can tell you there’s more news to come on Friday and this one’s pretty cool so don’t miss out).  Have a completely kickass, super-duper, completely rad (yes I still say ‘rad’) day, my dears.  Great big kisses coming your way, whether you want them or not. *wink*

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGES  ::  SOURCE UNKNOWN  ::  ALL OTHER IMAGES © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  ::

 

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