YES, I’m still alive…technically speaking. I pretty much lost the impetus to create after Mischa died and was immediately followed with a few personal setbacks. Follow that heartwarming goodness up with trying to finish a handful of pieces for my upcoming solo exhibit in November plus a two week bug complete with fever and a crippling migraine that was so excruciatingly painful that I had to go to the ER (that was a fun night). But what can I say. Life is a kick in the ovaries sometimes – such is life. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either selling something or isn’t paying much attention. I’m not trying to bitch or whine or make excuses for my absence. I just want you to know what’s been going on in my life, my head and my heart and let you know I haven’t disappeared. But I digress…
I’m still not sure I have the muses on my side. I keep trying to push through though, because to not create, to me, is to lie, to not be completely alive, to be half of a whole, to be only a small piece of myself. So I just keep trying to push through rather than giving up…which brings us to another piece by the badass Nattskiftet which is all about that very subject:
… NOT GIVING UP …
Thanks for bearing with me and for being a bunch of badasses. This has been one of the hardest, if not the hardest, times in my life (yes, harder than cancer, the night someone tried to murder me and my divorce and rest assured I am trying my hardest to regain my footing; to pull myself up by my bootstraps and a million other odd idioms about surviving that involve feet. I love your guts – each and every one of you. Thank you all for all your patience and your support as I wade through this emotional quagmire. Muwha!
Late last week I received a charming message on Instagram from a very considerate, polite man – a stranger I had never spoken to nor seen wandering about the interweb in my virtual ramblings. This man, this stranger, was polite enough to take the time to message me and ask me my permission if he could…ummmm…do things of an intimate nature to himself.
AND WOMEN THINK THERE ARE NO GOOD SINGLE MEN OUT THERE.
I realize that for some of you out there, things like that do it for you and get you off – that being the case it ceases to be creepy and weird and becomes consensual and more power to you. If this is your sexual dynamic and it’s what you both enjoy, then by all means have fun and you’ll find no judgment here. What do I care what you get up to in your own home (or public restroom or middle of the woods or the back of a cab)? If it makes you happy and both parties are down, then go for it.
But for some of us such random encounters from strangers feel more like being accosted, an unwelcome invasion and leaves use feeling objectified and like we need to bathe our brains in bleach – knowing what he’s doing and what he’s thinking about. I am just a woman going about my day and this is what I am accosted with in my inbox? – a man with some serious Norman Bates-esque issues – such a desperate enough need for approval and to be dominated that he had to reach out to a stranger and ask before he could get his rocks off.
PART OF ME FEELS SORRY FOR HIM, PART OF ME FINDS IT LAUGHABLE (I DID LAUGH AT THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL) AND PART OF ME WANTS TO GIVE HIM A GOOD SQUARE PUNCH HIM IN THE NOSE *POP!* FOR TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL LESS THAN WHAT I AM…
…which is a badass bitch (bitch in a good way and badass in a loving way) who knows who I am and what my boundaries are – even if I struggle with self-worth and other negative emotions sometimes…I still know I’m better than that.
So for all you ladies (and men) out there that would love a quick way and efficient way to tell them where to stick it (besides where they’re imagining) and handle your pervert problem quickly and efficiently…
NATTSKIFTET HAS YOUR SOLUTION
Thank you once again, Nattskiftet, for expertly doling out visually what we all want to say.
No Kisses For You & Lots Of Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick
Documentaries tend to divide people. There are those who love them and those who hate them. People watch movies to be entertained and there are people who don’t think entertainment and education go hand in hand…and for many of those people the suggestion of…
“Hey! I heard about this great documentary! We should totally watch it tonight!”
…is enough to make them want to drive ice picks into their eyeballs and clean their ears far more deeply and thoroughly than cotton swab manufacturers would ever dream of recommending for legal reasons.
But I think I have found some exceptions for haters of documentaries. A few gems that are so well done and so engrossing that you may just add a documentary to your favorite movies list.
I tried to find a little something for everyone. If I didn’t find a topic that strikes your fancy this time, fear not (as though you would fear it…that’s like a germaphobe being afraid of missing out on a visit to play with the CDC’s collection of anthrax). I’ll be putting together more lists as I come across more exceptions. I will find one for every docu-despiser out there, come hell or high water. Okay, maybe not EVERY one, but I’m going to do my best. So with that, I will shut the f*ck up and present you…
I came across this film while I was working at the historic Landmark River Oaks Theater in Houston. If you enjoy nature or, more specifically, insects, then you’ll love this. There is no narration, only music. It’s ballet with bugs. It has sex (I have to tell you, you haven’t seen beauty until you’ve seen to snails gettin’ it on. Yes I am dead serious) and drama (rhinoceros beetles do battle in what can only be described as a half gladiatorial half sumo wrestling battle royale). Even if you don’t like insects, Microcosmos will introduce you to their unique beauty, humor and power. You will never see the world, or the tiny creatures that populate it, the same again.
If you enjoy the Kardashians (and no, reality TV doesn’t count as watching documentaries), shows about the rich and famous or those programs that show you the world’s most amazing houses then this will be right up your alley. This movie follows the lives of one family who was building the American Versailles – the largest and most expensive home in the US…until the economy tanked and the real estate market with it. You’ll be surprised. Your reactions to this film may not be what you think. People are fascinating – and this family with its soaring highs and plummeting lows is no exception.
Are you a bit more out there with your tastes? Are you more of a free spirit? A wild child? One not prone to or interested in conformity? Curious about consciousness (or more specifically, altered states of consciousness), shamanism, expanding consciousness, spirituality and/or drug culture? Enter DMT. This amazing molecule can be found in and metabolized by every living thing on this earth, including plants…and that, my dears, is a very strange thing. Not every living thing on earth has the receptors needed to experience the effects of opioids like vicodin, opium or heroin…but every living thing on this earth (save single celled organisms – sorry paramecium and amoebas) is designed to utilize this mysterious molecule….and produces it within their own bodies.
SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
The big deal is what people experience on it. Unlike other hallucinogens like mushrooms, acid or peyote where every person has a unique trip all their own, people who use DMT (or ayahuasca – a ritualistic South American DMT brew blended with plant enzymes that slows the metabolization of the molecule and prolonging the experience to a couple of hours, whereas straight DMT use lasts only a few very intense moments) all report freakishly similar experiences with…well…let’s not give everything away. I’ll just say that there’s a reason it’s called the spirit molecule. This film focuses on recent scientific studies conducted with DMT and the experiences of the participants. It is truly fascinating and you might find you leave with more questions than answers (and an overwhelming urge to go to Peru – I know I do…ayahuasca has made my bucket list for sure). It’s a trip. Pun totally and unapologetically intended.
This is the perfect documentary for film buffs, fans of Kubrick and even conspiracy theorists. Room 237 is a series of interviews with people who are obsessed with Kubrick’s film The Shining – so much so that they have begun to believe it is more than just the best film adaptation of any Steven King book ever…they believe that it contains important hidden messages from Kubrick – which isn’t entirely unbelievable considering he was a genius in the truest sense of the word and pretty much nothing in any of his films was unintentional or without meaning. The concepts range from the genocide and abuse of Native Americans to his confession that the moon landing was staged and that he was the man who filmed it.
I know it seems hard to believe but these people are so well versed, so well studied and (most of them) present such solid arguments on their respective topics that it’s hard not to believe their theories. Personally I find the moon landing confession the most compelling of all. Why? Watch and you’ll see.
The evidence presented will most certainly give even the most steadfast believers in the honesty of our space race reason to pause. And for lovers of film and Kubrick, it takes the film to a whole new level. You’ll never watch it the same way again. Guaranteed.
How could I leave out my eccentric fashionistas, glamazons and trend setters/spotters? I couldn’t. If you want to feel sartorially ashamed and inspired simultaneously then consider Advanced Style your new digital fashion bible. This film follows several women, many of them in their 80s or very close to them, whose fashion sense is astounding. They have expanded beyond style and transformed getting dressed into a true form of artistic expression and it glorious. They are innovative, authentic and have more spunk and sass in one fabulously adorned finger than 99% of the global population. Eccentrics? Absolutely. Amazing? Hell yes. Inspiring? Without a f*cking doubt. Artists, I recommend this for you too. There’s no way to not be inspired in a film full of octogenarian muses. No. Way.
PS – Are you a lover of documentaries? Feel free to share some of your favorites. Are you a hater of them but decided to throw caution to the wind and give one of these a try? I’d love to know what you think.
Oh, our beloved and completely stunted in every conceivable way Homer Simpson. I’m handing over the reigns of Words of Wisdom to our favorite idiot for a little while as he covers everything from female anatomy, education, theology, philosophy, life lessons and, in this instance, romance. So without further ado I happily give you…
HOMER SIMPSON ON DATE NIGHTS
“What’s the point in going out? We’re just gonna wind up back here anyway.”
-Homer Simpson
With that kind of charm and mad wooing skills it’s a total mystery how he landed a total fox like Marge…but the heart wants what the hearts wants (and I really hate quoting Woody Allen attempting to justify marrying his daughter (adopted or otherwise it’s just creepy) but it’s just a damn good quote and is 100 percent true so credit where credit is due).
Do you have a favorite Simpsons’ moment? Feel free to share your favorite episodes in the comments below.
Oh what, oh what bit of pithy and cheeky wisdom will Nattskiftet impart today? How about we get a little deep and talk philosophy as well as theoretical physics. Now, now. Don’t get put off thinking this will be all heavy and profound. This is Nattskiftet – pithy and cheeky, remember?…not to mention some of the best advise ever.
NATTSKIFTET ON THE NATURE OF REALITY
I came to the same conclusions as a child and have been living happily in my own world (well – still sometimes quite unhappily since the other world does intrude from time to time and spreads its unique brand of suckiness, bullshit and heartbreak) ever since. If you haven’t created your own world yet, I highly recommend you join us. It’s quite lovely, to be sure. And you don’t have to live there. It can always be a little place you visit whenever you need an escape from…whatever. How funny would it be if you created the same world as me or her or someone else and we bumped into each other there? I would think it would be quite funny. Quite funny indeed. So maybe I’ll see you there sometime. *wink*
