Doubt Kills Dreams

 

 

THERE is a mantra in the Frank Herbert book Dune (geek alert) that states:

 

“I must not fear.  Fear is the mind killer.  Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

 

But what is more harmful, more damaging, more painful and hides at the root of fear?  Doubt.  And…

 
 

DOUBT KILLS DREAMS.

Doubt Kills Dreams

 

 

Doubt kills dreams before we ever even have the chance to fail.  We doubt our talent.  We doubt our skill.  We doubt our worthiness.

My dream for as long as I can remember (alongside being a garbage man, prima ballerina and the first black female president…yeah, you heard me.  I was three years old.  What do you want from me?  Kids are f*cking weird) was to be an actress and an artist.

When I was 10 I realized, despite my creativity and desire to produce my visions on paper, my skills were severely limited.  Art was dead.  I doubted my ability to grow and improve so I quit.

When I was 11 years old (and when the “rules” of dance were very different) my doctor told me I’d be lucky if I broke 5’4”…a height too short for a ballerina, but I still had dreams of Broadway where there were no height requirements.

 
 

Doubt Kills Dreams

 
 

When I was 16 I was told if I continued to dance I would need artificial kneecaps by the age of 20.  So there went Broadway.  But I still had acting…though not for long.

When it became clear that I wanted to pursue acting as a career, a well-meaning family member intervened on behalf of my doomed future.

I was told I‘d:

 

“…be a waitress for the rest of your life and be a burden on your family.”

 

  I was told I needed to quit being:

 

“childish and unrealistic.  There are thousands of girls out there who want to be actresses.  You’re nothing special.  You don’t have a chance.”

 

And with that the seeds of doubt were planted, watered and in full bloom in my very sensitive mind with its dominating fears of abandonment and rejection.

In one fell swoop my dreams of acting ended.  I went dutifully to college (UT Austin.  Hook ‘em horns) where I proceeded to flounder because I was left with absolutely zero dreams to pursue.

 

I had always enjoyed photography so I settled on photojournalism (because to major in art?  ART?  That’s no better than acting and is a one way ticket to starvation.  I knew because I’d been told). And even now, as I pursue a career in my well over decade long rekindled romance with art (this time through photography) I have to battle my feelings of doubt. I doubt myself every time I pick up my camera, share a new image online or hang a piece in a gallery. But I refuse to let doubt do what it did all those years ago…

 

DOUBT KILLED MY DREAMS DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS.

 

The truly horrible thing about doubt is that it stops you before you even start.  You don’t have the chance to find out if you fail or succeed because you don’t even try.

 
 

AND NOT TRYING IS THE SADDEST THING IN THE WORLD.

Doubt Kills Dreams

 
 

You could be missing out on the most amazing thing in your life; the most amazing adventures; the career of your dreams; the love of your life – and all due to doubt in yourself; in the outcome; in the intentions of others; in the future being different from the past.  Now why in the world would you want to miss out on adventure, dreams and love due to doubt?

 
 

DON’T LET DOUBT KILL YOUR DREAMS.

 
 

I know it’s hard but take a deep breath and give faith a try.  Give trust a try.  Believe.  Wonderful things could be just around the corner if you just stop doubting and try instead.  Doubt nothing.  And those naysayers?  F*ck ‘em, family or not.  F*ck ‘em all.  You’ve got this.  I believe in you.

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGE  ::  SOURCES UNKNOWN (IF YOU KNOW THE CREATOR OF THIS, PLEASE CONTACT ME SO PROPER CREDIT CAN BE GIVEN)  ::

 

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* MAD MEN MONDAY ALWAYS HAS AND ALWAYS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS AND IS MADE IN A FACTORY WHERE NUTS ARE PROCESSED.  READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. *

A Farewell To mad Men

 
 

I know we are one day and three weeks behind (I’ve been MIA due to some personal matters) so consider this a whirlwind wrap up of the final three episodes of everyone’s favorite slice of nostalgia pie served up with a side of extraordinarily compelling storytelling, Mad Men.

 
 

JOIN ME NOW AS WE BID FAREWELL TO MAD MEN WITH THIS FINAL EDITION OF MAD MEN MONDAY.

(ON A TUESDAY…OF COURSE.)

A Farewell To mad Men


 
 

A few weeks ago, in the aptly named (and I mean to the point of insulting my intelligence) ‘Lost Horizon,’ everyone was adrift.

Everyone had relocated to their new offices and SC&P was a ghost town, save two lone inhabitants, Peggy (who had initially been mistaken for a secretary and then left to languish with no office and no way to work) and, eventually, Roger, who simply wasn’t quite ready to leave the familiar shores of the home he loved so dearly.  Drunken bonding complete with roller skates and organ music was had in what has become one of my favorite scenes of the series.

 
 

A Farewell To mad Men


 
 

Even the most surefooted of the team found themselves loosing ground, unsure of where to step…feeling lost, confused and more than a little frustrated.

Joan had nothing but headache after headache as she found herself hurtling backwards into the land of sexism, abuse and discrimination.

Even the ever confident Don found himself floundering and disgusted despite his best efforts to the contrary, finally saying ‘F*ck it’ and deciding to just leave mid-meeting for destinations unknown (which I longed to do during my office days, so kudos to you, Don).

In fact, the only person who found herself truly stepping into her power as she entered her office was Peggy, who got a massive reminder of how badass she is courtesy of her drunken day with Roger…

 
 

AND DAMN DID SHE STRUT…PEGGY OWNED HER SH*T THE MOMENT SHE WALKED IN AND IT WAS GLORIOUS TO BEHOLD.

peggy struts gif

Ludacris would do well to heed his own advice when Peggy’s rolling through.

 
 

Enter last week’s episode, ‘The Milk and Honey Route.’  While Don is trying to drive away from his problems, looking for the something that’s always been missing, it proves to be a mixed bag of blessings and bad news for the rest of the former SC&P team.

 
 

LIFE HAS A WAY OF DOING THAT…

 
 

Betty gets diagnosed with late stage metastatic lung cancer (am I the only one who finds it hard to muster much sympathy for her?  I’ve found her wretched from day one, despite her efforts to redeem herself or the writers’ to attempt to humanize her).  She refuses treatment which results in her husband unraveling and Sally, after several traumatic false starts at the whole becoming an adult thing, has it forced upon her in the cruelest of ways by facing the inevitable and painful death of her mother.

 
 

A Farewell To mad Men


 
 

Joan quits after her attempt at demanding fair and equal treatment backfires (thank god she took her Rolodex, the clever girl).

Roger is…well…Roger.  He’s a damn cat, he is, always landing on his feet, even if you tie buttered bread (which always lands butter side down when dropped) butter side up to his kitty cat back he’d still manage to thwart all bad luck and strut away with buttered bread and nine lives squarely in tact.  He adapts and just keeps on rolling.  I wish they could bottle his essence.  I’d buy it by the case.

Pete, another who I’ve despised since the earliest of days, manages to score a dream job after years of being an absolute weasel and conniving backstabber.  How is he so lucky all of a sudden?

And Don.  Poor Don.  Forever running.  Forever hiding.  But never, ever escaping.  As he traipses across the country on the most random road trip ever, he knows what awaits.  His subconscious whispers his greatest fears to him every night…

 
 

don-driving


 
 

But he’s beginning to realize it’s not other people and situations he’s running from…

 

HE’S RUNNING FROM HIMSELF.

 

We begin to see Don being honest and coming to grips with who and what he has been and has become as he opens up to his fellow veterans and then gives a healthy dose of brutal, first hand real world advice to a clueless kid from the sticks who considers himself to be quite clever and world-wise.

The road trip that was intended to help him escape to the land of milk and honey, is clearly turning out to be less of what he wants and more of what he needs.  The kicks on his Route 66 are anything but the fun variety.  Did I mention…

 
 

LIFE HAS A FUNNY WAY OF DOING THAT?…

A Farewell To Mad Men


 
 

That brings us to the series finale *sniffle sniffle,* ‘Person to Person.’  I know I’m not the only one thinking this episode really needed to be two hours long.  It was a bit slapdash as the writers tried to tidy things up and slap a bow on it which was a disservice to fans and cast alike.

That being said, this far too abbreviated episode, while not providing us with the level of depth to which we’ve become accustomed did provide us with closure…mostly.

 
 

LET’S BREAK IT DOWN, SHALL WE?

A Farewell To Mad Men

 
 

JOAN

joan-gets-her-dream


 
 

She seizes an opportunity to start her own production company and build something great…for herself…without any men oppressing and harassing her.   There was a price.  She had to lose that self-centered, controlling, spoiled as hell but richer than God asshat she’d been dating, but I don’t think she’ll miss him long.  She finally gets to live life on her own terms.  Thank god for that Rolodex.

 
 

ROGER

A Farewell To Mad Men


 
 

Like I said, Roger the cat always lands on his feet.  We leave him in Canada, with the assumption that he’s (finally) living in wedded bliss (check out the wedding rings) and being his usual charming and smart ass self, even if his French sucks.  Roger, more than most of the characters, truly deserved happiness.  Despite his philandering, he was a good and loyal person and would and frequently did everything he could to support his friends…and was always 100% Roger, something that, in and of itself, should be rewarded.

 
 

PETE

pete-comes-out-on-top


 
 

Seriously.  WTF.  Just wtf.  He lands his dream job with a killer salary and insane perks.  He even manages to get his family back?  How the f**k did THAT happen?  More power to him, I guess…he’s hardly deserving of any of it, despite his epiphanies and personality overhaul at the end of it all.  But I suppose everyone deserves a second chance, especially when they recognize their mistakes and change.

 
 

SALLY & BETTY

A Farewell To Mad Men


 
 

Despite Betty’s protests and promises that Sally won’t be allowed to watch her die, Sally puts her life on hold and stays with her quickly fading mother.  Why Betty changed her mind we’ll never know.  But Sally steps up and makes the loving, noble and brave decision to care for her mother and family as her mother slips away.

It’s a hard road for them both but I think it’s clear that this is the best thing that could have happened to their relationship as they both come to respect each other in ways they previously had not which opens the door for a healthier way of loving each other…and that is a gift given by the tragic ending of their storyline.

 
 

PEGGY & STAN

A Farewell To Mad Men


 
 

It’s.  About.  Damn.  Time.  And the way they professed their love for each other, how it was said, the words that were used – absolute perfection.  I admit it.  I cried.  My heart melted and I totally cried.  I have been waiting for them to get together for years.  And even though they’re fictional characters, it gives me hope that things can and do work out if you’re patient.  This was my favorite ending of all the characters’ stories.  I’m a sap and hopeless romantic.  I know.  Just don’t tell anyone.  I don’t want word getting out.

 
 

DON

hippie-don


 
 

Talk about a major transformation.  When he left he was lost.  He had been lost for so very, very long.  But he finally found the truth.  He finally found himself.  He had been trapped and tangled in a web of his own making for so long and was constantly afraid, looking over his shoulder and unable to settle.

Like so many of us he kept thinking the problems existed outside himself.  That if he merely found the right person then everything would be okay.  But after being abandoned on a retreat the truth of life, his life and everything he had believed finally came to a head.

On the verge of a real breakdown (not the close but no cigar breakdowns he’s had before) he half asks half cries to one of the hippies at the retreat…

 
 

dons-breakdown


 
 

To which the young hippie girl gives an unintentionally profound reply:

 

“Sorry, but people are free to come and go as they please…”

 

Thus begins Don’s tearing down and building back up of his heart, mind and soul.  All the people that he thought would “fix” everything…they were placebos.  He was the constant and he was all he needed.  He had lied, cheated, deceived, betrayed and manipulated out of what he perceived as a need to survive and to escape both his past (and we’re talking all the way back to childhood), his present and to secure his future.

But what he needed was to accept himself, to see himself, to love himself and that everything, all of it, all of what had been weighing him down and tormenting him…that he could let it go.  He is who he has always been and he can embrace it…and so can others.

He didn’t skate by on his charm and his looks (though they certainly never hurt him).  He created it all.  He created himself.  He created brilliant ideas.  He did it.  Not someone he made up.  It was him.  It was all him.

And as he sat on that cliff, meditating, trying to center himself and calmly claw his way out from the bottom of the pit he had dug, there it was.  The epiphany.  The truth.  The reality.  And one of the best and most enduring campaigns in all of advertising.  And it was him.

 
 

A Farewell To Mad Men


 
 

There are some cynics who saw the series finale as Don merely circling back to precisely where he began, with no growth or improvement – still using others to spur his genius and perpetuate his playboy lifestyle.

But I suppose what you see depends on the lens you look through.  As for me…I’d like to teach the world to sing.  I’ll leave the cynicism to the cynics and I’ll see the series finale through the eyes of someone who believes that even antiheroes can grow and find happiness.

 
 

Farewell Kisses & Madison Avenue Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGES  ::   ALL IMAGES COURTESY AMC  ::

 

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WORDLESS WEDNESDAY:

.transmutations. –  Alli Woods Frederick (2014)

 

 

transmutations

…leaving the ghosts we’ve made behind…

 

 

 

transmutations

Performing A Miracle

 
 
 

transmutations

Make It Stop

 

 

 

transmutations

my heart shall not pass through…

 

 

 

transmutations

…she was born to be the woman you would know…

 

 

 

transmutations

Pray you, love, remember.  And there is pansies, that’s for thoughts.

 

 

 

transmutations

ashes. ashes. we all fall down.

 

 

 

transmutations

Rites of Passage No 2

 

 

 

transmutations

promise what you will

 

 

 

transmutations

The Fickle Finger of Fate

 

 

 

transmutations

all us servants beg the master

 

 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 

FOR INFORMATION ON PURCHASING CLOSED EDITION GICLEES OR EXHIBITION INQUIRIES PLEASE REFER TO THE .TRANSMUTATIONS. CATALOG WHICH IS AVAILABLE FOR DOWNLOAD HERE.

 
 

IMAGES  ::  ALL IMAGES FROM THE SERIES .TRANSMUTATIONS. © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  USE WITHOUT EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT BY THE ARTIST IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.  ::

 

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Is It The Beginning Or The End

 

 

LIFE and its endless cycles… Sunrise.  Sunset.  High tide.  Low tide.  Summer.  Spring.  Winter.  Fall.  Everything is a cycle of beginnings and endings.  Seriously.  Every.  Single.  F’ing.  Thing. Nothing and no one is immune to this cycle, not even the team at Sterling Cooper…and the cycle can become a confusing and frustrating one at that, as they’re beginning to discover.

 
 

Is It The Beginning Or The End


 
 

This final season of the series is certainly excelling at choosing an overarching theme for each episode and driving it home and last night’s episode “Time & Life” was no exception.  There are so many starts and stops and beginnings and endings between so many of the characters that it would be impossible to list them all.

From Roger’s new affair with Don’s ex-mother-in-law to Don’s short-lived romance to the emotionally fragile waitress on the edge of oblivion and McCann-Erickson’s shocking absorption of Sterling Cooper (not to mention the possible beginning of a new level of friendship between Stan and Peggy – am I the only one who has been waiting forever for the two of them to just get together? Sheesh! Come on already!) everything appears to be unraveling at the seams on one end while being knitted into a new life on the other.

 
 

BUT APPEARANCES CAN BE DECEIVING…

Is It The Beginning Or The End


 
 

We’ve all had our shares of false starts in life – misplaced hope in futures that never came to pass; trusted the wrong people; chased the wrong dreams; settled for something less than we deserve because we didn’t know what else to do.  Doors have closed while others have opened onto something we prayed would be better but is often just trading one set of problems for another.  And this is precisely where everyone at Sterling Cooper finds themselves at the close of the episode, though no one is quite sure which it is they’re experiencing…

 
 

IS IT THE BEGINNING OR THE END?

Is It The Beginning Or The End


 
 

Not even the near magical hypnotically persuasive powers of the silver tongued Don Draper are capable of guiding the staff into a feeling of excitement and security about the looming inevitable changes…perhaps because he himself doesn’t buy the tagline he’s selling…nor should he.

Personally, I both love and hate that they are trotting out this storyline with only two episodes left.  While my obsessive compulsive side wants the series to end with a neat and tidy bow wrapped around it as it is firmly presented as ‘The End,’ the storyteller in me loves that it appears, at least as of this  moment, that our ending will not be neat.  It will not be tidy.  It will end with a beginning which leaves the future of every character wide open for any and every possibility once they take leave from our shared journey.

While this is, without question, the end…I believe it is only the beginning, not just for the soon to be defunct Sterling Cooper, but for the characters who are being presented with the rare opportunity to change their lives and make them the lives they’ve always wanted…the lives of which they’ve dreamed.

 
 

AND ISN’T THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT FROM LIFE?

Is It The Beginning Or The End


 

“You are okay.”
-Roger Sterling

 
 

We suffer and wade, blind and scared through our uncertain endings because we hope, sometimes in the face of overwhelming odds, that the next beginning will be the one that sets us free, allowing our hearts to burst with happiness and our souls to find the peace and contentment we all crave from cradle to grave. So here’s to beginnings. Join me in a “F*ck yeah!”

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGES  ::  © MICHAEL YARISH/AMC  ::  ©JUSTINA MINTZ/AMC  ::  ALL OTHER IMAGES COURTESY AMC  ::

 

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Come And Get It

 
 

AS some of you know my work is featured in the Spring 2015 issue of Stampington & Company’s Somerset Digital Studio.  If they sound familiar they’re the same company that publishes Artful Blogging, where my article ‘Foreign Waters’ (about my divorce and the art of balance and boundaries in blogging) was featured in their Summer 2014 issue.

I am super-excited to be featured because it provides me the opportunity to share my editing process with everyone.  I actually walk you through the steps of how my piece ‘Fickle Finger of Fate’ was created so you can bust out Photoshop (or GIMP, which is a free editing software that is comparable) and apply the techniques to your own images.  And I’m not alone…

 
 

Come And Get It


 
 

The magazine is overflowing with tons of highly creative artists who are sharing their creative process with the world.  Somerset Digital Studio encourages creativity and for people to play, experiment and grow in ways they may not have considered.

 

YOU LEARN THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO CREATE.

 

Everyone does things differently and that’s okay.  There are no rights or wrongs in creativity, only learning and growing.

 
 

STAMPINGTON & COMPANY WANTS YOU TO HAVE A COPY OF SOMERSET DIGITAL
STUDIO ON THE HOUSE!

Come And Get It


 
 

Stampington & Company has been kind enough to give me a copy of the current Spring 2015 issue to give to one of my lucky readers!  And just to put some extra icing on that awesome cake I’ll be throwing in some surprise bonus goodies just for you!

 

WHAT ARE THE SURPRISE BONUS GOODIES?

Well, if I told you then they wouldn’t be a surprise, now would they?  It’s good to have some mysteries in this life.

 
 

COME AND GET IT!

HOW TO ENTER

It’s easy.  Just do one or all of the entry options in the form below.  That’s it!  Pretty damn simple, eh? Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

CONTEST ENDS FRIDAY, MAY 1, 2015 AT MIDNIGHT, CST. WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON KISSESANDCHAOS.COM LATER THAT DAY.

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGES  ::  THE HAUS OF CHAOS™ © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK  ::  FICKLE FINGER OF FATE © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  ::  COURTESY SOMERSET DIGITAL STUDIO  ::

 

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