Posted on 12/21/2015 by alli woods frederick

 

 

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen

 

 

If you’re anything like me, when it comes to cooking and the kitchen you always have good intentions and plan to learn to cook – I mean really cook.  So you fill your kitchen with all the basic supplies plus a few fun, exotic extras to spice things up, but when push comes to shove the thought of cooking, of spending that much time and energy into a few moments of food is just…meh. *shrugs*

 

I’VE COME TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM AND NEVER WILL BE A COOK OR A FOODIE

 

(though I can bake like a mofo).  I am a grazer.  I eat here and there when I’m hungry and dislike being tied down to a schedule where I have to sit down and eat whether I’m hungry or not.  Not to mention it’s really time consuming for something I don’t get all that excited about.

Beverages?  I’m all over them.  I could drink weird teas, juices, fermented concoctions, odd flavored soda and the like all day and be completely content.  But food?  Unless we’re talking avocado rolls, Cuban beans and rice or paneer tikka masala with some fresh naan then I’m pretty indifferent towards it.

 
 

BUT THERE WAS ONE UNEXPECTED PERK TO MY SHORT-LIVED “I MUST COOK” PHASE…
AND THAT’S HERBS AND SPICES.

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen


 
 

What the hell is so unexpected and special about herbs and spices, you ask?  What purpose could they possibly serve if my desire and ability to cook is equal to a grub worm’s desire and ability to paint a masterpiece (at least I’m assuming.  I’m not a grub worm, nor do I claim to be one or know the inner machinations of their grub worm minds and souls, so for all I know grub worms do aspire to be our world’s greatest artists and if that’s the case, my apologies to all grub worms)?  In one word: witchy goodness.  Yup.  And there’s nary an eye of newt or toe of frog to be seen.

Curious?  Well then here are…

 
 

5 MAGICAL THINGS HIDING IN YOUR KITCHEN RIGHT NOW

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen


 
 
 

1)  BAY LAURAL LEAVES** FOR PROTECTION

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen


 
 

Place one bay laurel leaf** in each corner of every room of your house.  For personal protection carry bay leaves in your pocket, purse or in a blue or red colored mojo bag.

 
 

**EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NOTE:  BAY LAUREL LEAVE ARE HIGHLY TOXIC TO DOGS AND CATS AND LIKELY OTHER PETS.  IF YOU HAVE PETS EITHER FIND A NON-TOXIC ALTERNATIVE OR MAKE SURE THEY ARE 100% SECURE AND 100% OUT OF REACH OF YOUR LITTLE FURBALL.  PERSONALLY, I WOULDN’T RISK IT AND WOULD FIND AN ALTERNATIVE.  PETS CAN BE CRAFTY AND IF THEY DECIDE THEY WANT IT THEY’LL FIND A WAY TO GET IT AND NO ONE WANTS TO ACCIDENTALLY POISON THEIR PRECIOUS LITTLE FURBABY.  SO PLEASE, BE SMART FOR YOUR LITTLE CRITTER’S SAKE AND SAFETY.

 
 
 

2)  FOOD COLORING AND WATER FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen


 
 

Fill a clear glass bottle with water.  Choose a color of food coloring that corresponds to your desire/goal (you can find a list of color associations here) and add it to the water, tinting it accordingly.  Place the bottle of colored water in the sun for at least one hour, allowing the sun to charge it.  Once the water is done charging drink the water while focusing on your goal or desired outcome.

For extra POW! write your desire on a piece of paper and tape it to the outside of the bottle.  Meditate and visualize your desire as you hold the bottle of water (do this before placing it in the sun and drinking it).  Why the hell would you do this?  The meditation/prayer/intention/visualization alters the water according to the research of Dr. Masaru Emoto .

You can use glass colored bottles instead of food coloring but you have to be 100% sure that the bottle is food and liquid safe.  Many colored glass bottles are merely decorative and contain toxic materials that are unsafe to use for food and liquids.  If you aren’t sure, err on the side of caution and use the clear glass and food coloring method.  No wish is worth dying (or having liver failure) for, is it?  Food coloring is definitely your safest option.

 
 
 

3)  GINGER ROOT FOR MONEY AND PROSPERITY

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen


 
 

Need a really simple way to attract money?   Sprinkle a little powdered ginger in your pockets and/or your purse to help increase the chances of improving your finances.

 
 
 

4)  CHAMOMILE FOR PROTECTION OF NEWBORNS

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen


 
 

Have an infant or little one you want to protect?  Try chamomile.  The original spell calls for you to hang bundles of chamomile over the baby’s crib.  Since most of us don’t have chamomile just hanging out, growing around our yard, try your pantry.  Make blue mojo bags filled with dried chamomile and hang them very securely (far, far, far out of reach of little hands and fingers) above the crib.

 
 
 

5)  BASIL, CINNAMON AND/OR CLOVES FOR LOVE

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen


 
 

While I advise against casting love spells with a particular person in mind (it’s bad karma and unethical to try and compel someone to have feelings for you against their will.   Would you want someone even contemplating f*cking with your heart and free will that way?  Yeah…not so much) but I absolutely think there is nothing wrong with trying to attract love (in general) into your life, whether for a fling or for life.  So…

 
 

CREATE A LOVE MOJO BAG AND FILL IT WITH LOVE DRAWING AND AMPLIFYING ITEMS AND HERBS.

 
 

Place things like cinnamon, cloves, rose petals, rose quartz, garnet or a piece of copper (the metal of Venus/Aphrodite who you definitely want to help you out…and by the way, pennies no longer have substantial amount of copper (unless they were minted prior to 1982) in them so while they’re technically copper, I’d go for something more pure like, oh…I don’t know…a piece of actual copper but a penny will work on a technicality) in a pink or red pouch (satin is always good) and keep it on your person every day – especially Fridays (also a good day to create your mojo bag) since Fridays are the best day for love spells.

 
 

NOT SURE YOU BELIEVE IN SUCH HOCUS POCUS?

5 Magical Things Hiding In Your Kitchen


 
 

Well if you believe in the law of attraction, this is really no different.  It’s merely a way to focus that power of positivity, the creative visualization by providing a physical object to associate and serve as a reminder and point of focus.  At least that’s one way to look at it.

Others believe that the spices and herbs and colors and rituals have power unto themselves and when combined with the power of intention reality is directly affected.

And some of you will never look at it as anything more than a big ol’ pile of bullshit, in which case none of it will ever work – and that’s 100% perfectly a-okay.

So take what you need, believe what you choose, but remember…the next time you’re feeling more than a little uneasy or having a streak of bad luck, grab a bay leaf from your kitchen, give it a try.  It can’t hurt (furbabies not included…remember, safety first!)…and it just might help.  Stranger (and more amazing) things have happened.

 
 

Magical Kisses & Culinary Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

*DISCLAIMER:  I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BUT I’M LEGALLY REQUIRED TO TELL YOU TO PLEASE USE SOME FUCKING COMMON SENSE.  NOTHING EVER REPLACES MEDICAL CARE, LEGAL ADVICE, POLICE ASSISTANCE OR OTHER PROFESSIONAL HELP.  THESE ARE NOT MIRACULOUS CURE-ALLS.  IF BEING A WITCH OR SHAMAN FIXED EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM AND MADE LIFE PERFECT THEN WITCHES WOULD RUN THE WORLD AND NEVER HAVE A SINGLE ISSUE.  THEY SURE AS HELL WOULDN’T BE/HAVE BEEN PERSECUTED AND BRUTALLY EXECUTED FOR CENTURIES (SORE SPOT FOR ME AS A REDHEAD SINCE WE WERE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE WITCHES, OUR FLAMING LOCKS PROOF OF CONGRESS WITH THE DEVIL, SO WE WERE TARGETED AND BURNED ALIVE, DROWNED, HUNG AND ALL THE OTHER LOVELY PUNISHMENTS THE FEAR MONGERING MISOGYNISTS BESTOWED UPON US…) IF WE COULD TRULY MASTER THE ELEMENTS AND THE WORLD WITHOUT ERROR THEN WOULD THAT HAVE EVER HAPPENED? IT’S NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE…IT’S AN ART…AND NO ART IS PERFECT.  SO USE THAT COMMON SENSE AND DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID.  AND IF YOU’RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING SILLY (LIKE DRINK COLORED WATER INSTEAD OF SEEING A DOCTOR FOR ANEMIA OR POISON YOUR DOG WITH BAY LEAVES) THEN READ MY OFFICIAL LEGAL DISCLAIMER FIRST.  SHIT, YOU SHOULD READ IT EVEN IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO DO SOMETHING SILLY JUST SO WE’RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE (SO TO SPEAK).  I KNOW YOU’RE ALL SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER, BUT LIKE I SAID, I’M LEGALLY REQUIRED TO SAY IT.

 
 

IMAGES  ::  VIA FANATIC’S COUNTRY ATTIC  ::  KITCHEN AT OAKLEY © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  ::  SOURCE UNKNOWN  ::  VIA LIZZY LANE FARM BOTANICALS  ::  VIA BOURBON BLOG  ::  © DISNEY HOCUS POCUS  ::
Posted in LIFE, LIFESTYLE, MAGIC | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Posted on 12/15/2015 by alli woods frederick

 

 

Holiday Gifts For Weirdos and Freaks

**  NOTE: THIS POST CONTAINS SOME AFFILIATE LINKS.  THIS MEANS IF YOU MAKE A PURCHASE I WILL EARN A SMALL COMMISSION.  AS ALWAYS ALL OPINIONS, WORDS AND CONTENT ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE AND ARE NOT INFLUENCED BY ANY OUTSIDE SOURCES IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM.  THE COMPANIES AND ARTISTS I AM AFFILIATED WITH ARE ONES I PERSONALLY SHOP WITH AND BELIEVE IN, OTHERWISE THERE’S NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD SUPPORT THEM.  **

 
 

We all have those people that seem impossible to shop for.  You know the ones I’m talking about – the normal people, the Marilyns to our Munsters. They make holiday gift giving a nightmare as we brave Old Navy,  Banana Republic and Best Buy trying to find a gift they’ll love.  And if we think shopping for them is hard for us. Imagine how they must feel trying to find the perfect gift when our tastes exist so far beyond outlet mall offerings.  Many of them have no clue what to do (thus the gift cards and cash, which are fine, but hardly exciting to unwrap).

 
 

SO I’VE PUT TOGETHER THIS LIST FOR YOU TO SHARE WITH THEM.

 
 

Help them maintain their sanity.  It’s the nice thing to do.  The holidays are crazy enough without adding fuel to the yule log fire.  If they’re at a loss, send them this way.  I’ve got you covered:

 

Cat lady?  Yup…and they’re purrfect. (I couldn’t resist the awful pun…sorry.)
Bit of a kinky fetishist?  Silence!  You’ll take what you’re given and like it, you worm.
Dark and twisty?  Of course…black goes with everything.

 

You get the idea.  This is a shopping for guide for those of us who aren’t represented in Neiman’s insane Christmas Book…

 
 

HOLIDAY GIFTS FOR WEIRDOS AND FREAKS

(but really, who is…right?  Although I wouldn’t mind having one of those badass popup Christian LaCroix Shaman Night Advent Calendars (that’s some frame-worthy shit right there), the World View Exploration At The Edge Of Space Experience (as close to one of my dreams as I’m likely to get (although I saw on IG that NASA is hiring astronauts.  I could be the first reiki master in space, gauging the impact of weightlessness on people’s energy.  What!  It could happen.  We’ve done weirder experiments out there than zero g reiki) – and at a measly 90 grand it’s cheaper than the next item I’m about to share…) and I know more than a few friends who would be all over The Orphan Barrel Project, which is 24 bottles of whiskey (to be fair it is really special whiskey…and it damn well better be) for a mere $125,000.)

 

…have outgrown the likes of FAO Schwartz (which I’m not entirely sure is possible), the massive tome that is the Sear’s Wish Book or any holiday ad for any store on TV, radio, online and in 99.9% of magazines.  This is a shopping guide to ease the plight of the people who are forced to love (and subsequently shop, as per our culture’s demands) for us, the adorably eccentric.

So with that in mind I now present, for the preservation of your loved ones’ sanity:

 
 

HOLIDAY GIFTS FOR WEIRDOS AND FREAKS LIKE US

Holiday Gifts For Weirdos and Freaks

::  I COULD PEE ON THIS AND OTHER POEMS BY CATS  ($12.99)  ::  LA LUNA RING  ($20)  ::  WITCH BABY ENAMEL PIN  ($8)  ::  NEVER SLEEP ENAMEL PIN  ($8)  ::  SUGAR SKULL NOTEBOOK  (£4.50)  :: SCREW ROOM SIGN ($10)  ::  BUM RUFFLE FLOWER CAGE LATEX SKIRT  ($350 CA)  ::  THE FETISH COLORING BOOK ($9.95)  ::  EARS, WHISKERS AND COCKTAILS FLASK ($29.99)  ::

 
 

Holiday Gifts For Weirdos and Freaks

::  POISON: SINISTER SPECIES WITH DEADLY CONSEQUENCES  ($19.95)  ::  STERLING SILVER CROW TALON NECKLACE  ($180)  ::  VICTORIAN STRIPED PARASOL ($36)  ::  TOKYOMILK DARK EXCESS PERFUME ($38)  ::  FIENDIES’ MINI MYSTIKAL FIRE DUST  ($15)  ::  VINTAGE LENORMAND FORTUNE-TELLING CARDS  ($17.95)  ::  STONE & VIOLET MOON PHASE SHELF*  ($155)  ::  LIME CRIME VELVETINES LIMITED EDITION TRIO  ($44)  ::  MARK RYDEN’S THE GAY 90’S  ($39.95)  ::
::NOTE:  SHELF IS EMPTY AND DOES NOT INCLUDE ANY CRYSTALS OR OTHER ITEMS  ::

 
 

Holiday Gifts For Weirdos and Freaks


 
 

So for all you Marilyn Munsters out there, thank you on behalf of all us Morticias, Lilies, Eddies, Wednesdays, Hermans and Gomezes for taking the time and effort to show us you care by buying us the weird stuff you think is creepy, odd and that you just don’t understand. We love you, too…penny loafers, khakis and all.

 
 

Creepy Kisses & Kooky Holiday Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

ADDITIONAL UNIQUE VENDORS, ARTISTS AND ARTISANS YOU WILL LOVE:

 

*THE OPAQUE
*CIRCUS POSTERUS
*CYBERESQUE
*THE HAUS OF CHAOS *wink*
*RAVEN EYE FORGE
*SOPHI REAPTRESS
*RANNKA
*DEAD THINGS BY KATE
*HOUSE OF WIDOW
*POISON APPLE PRINTSHOP
*ALLI WOODS FREDERICK FINE ART *wink again*
*BLACK PHOENIX ALCHEMY LAB
*MIDDLE OF BEYOND
*HYSTERIA MACHINE
*THE WITCHERY
*BOUDOIR QUEEN
*KATELAN FOISY
*ELEVENTH HOUSEWARES
*SISTERS OF THE BLACK MOON


 
 

IMAGES  ::  THE MUNSTERS © CBS  ::  © CHRISTIAN LACROIX  ::  © THE ADDAMS FAMILY  “”
Posted in LIFE, LIFESTYLE | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Posted on 12/09/2015 by alli woods frederick

 

Raven Eye Forge

*THIS IS A SPONSORED POST.  THIS MEANS I WAS COMPENSATED FOR PROVIDING THIS CONTENT.  PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL OPINIONS AND CONTENT PRESENTED ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE AND HAVE NOT BEEN INFLUENCED, APPROVED OR ALTERED BY RAVEN EYE FORGE IN ANY WAY.*

 

 

Shields, armor, weapons and a glorious death on the battlefield were what every Viking needed to be escorted to Asgard by valkyries and ushered into Valhalla where they would feast like kings and kick it with Odin.  If you didn’t make the cut (so to speak) then there was always Freyja waiting for you in the fields of Folkvangr, which wasn’t half bad either.  But what about modern Vikings and warriors?

 
 

ENTER RAVEN EYE FORGE:
ADORNMENT FOR THE MODERN VIKING

Raven Eye Forge

 
 

Franklin Jeffers is the creative force behind Raven Eye Forge which is currently based out of Redmond, Oregon.  He began his love affair with cutting and carving while spending his summers in Alaska.   Looking for a way to “kill a bit of time” he began carving bone and wood for his then partner to use in her jewelry line.

Upon returning to Oregon he turned his attention to metal work – specifically bladesmithing.  He dabbled, making knives for friends as he learned and honed his skills.  It was during this time he discovered his passion for metal work…and with that Raven Eye Forge was born.

 
 

Raven Eye Forge

::     BEAR LAW ALTAR KNIFE (CUSTOM MADE TO ORDER):   125.00     ::

 
 

Ask him about inspiration and he’ll tell you it comes directly from the source of all things, Mother Nature.  He also likes…

 

“…the idea of making modern day battle ware for my like minded tribe. I envision my earrings adorning modern day shamans, warriors and healers.”

 

I think it’s obvious that he achieves his goal in spades.  His pieces are easy to wear and smoothly transition from rocker chic and every day wear to more dramatic tribal and goth bohemian styles…and the pieces do so flawlessly.

 
 

Raven Eye Forge

 
 

Even though Franklin’s pieces are detailed works of decorative armor that are reminiscent of battles of old, the animal bones he uses are anything but bloody in nature.  As a vegan, he makes sure any and all animal parts used in his work are humanely sourced:

 

“…I lived in Alaska for years during my summers and would hike the back country and pick up natural shed antlers and other bones that would be from natural kills from the heavy winters.  I carry on this practice and still spend my summers in the high back country of Cascadia collecting natural deer antler for my pendants.  My boars tusk is found in the same way in north eastern Oregon.  As for that armored goat skull I live near many Organic farms and get bones and skulls form humanely sourced kills or they have died of old age.  The quills [are humanely sourced] also. [They] come out easily and regrow so [the porcupines] are basically shedding them.”

 
 

Raven Eye Forge

 
 

I don’t know about you, but I’m officially a fan.  He was kind enough to loan all these pieces for my shoot, but in all honesty, I can’t promise he’ll be getting them all back.  He may just open his mail box and find a check instead.  Can you blame me?  Just feast your eyes on his beautifully detailed metal work:

 
 
 
 

Raven Eye Forge

 
 

Raven Eye Forge

 
 

Raven Eye Forge

::     ALPEN GLOW CUFF:  40.00     ::
“The Alpen glow comes from my many nights hiking in the back country of the PNW. Watching the sunset playing across the snow-capped cascades, never paining the same scene twice.”
::     SKJOLD BEARER COPPER EARRINGS:  20.00     ::

 
 
 
 

Raven Eye Forge

 
 

Raven Eye Forge

 
 

Raven Eye Forge

::     TRIPLE HALO BRASS CUFF:  40.00     ::
::     THE RITUAL STATEMENT NECKLACE:  65.00     ::
”The Ritual came to me as I was looking to expand my skills into making larger statement pieces and I envisioned a high priestess attending to her altar and the moon light shining off her skyclad skin only wearing the ritual as she made her offering.”

 
 
 
 

Raven Eye Forge

 
 

Raven Eye Forge

::     SKJOLD BEARER NECKLACE:  35.00     ::
“The Skjold Bearer is a part of shield series. Skjold [is shield in Norwegian.] I imagined these pieces as looking at burial mound digs and the relics that had once again saw light. Adorning an Skjold Soster or Skjold maiden. Bringing a very unique and timeless look to one’s own personal style.”
::     SACRED TREED COPPER CUFF: 35.00     ::
“Deep forested walks among the wise elders of the old growth. Stopping and gently embracing the tales of these grand masters. This I am trying to capture within the deep textures of my cuffs and the sacred tree.”
::     CORVUS EYE EARRINGS:  20.00     ::
“The corvus eyes are that of the Raven, the trickster, the adviser and the careful watcher and learner.”

 
 
 
 
05_wm
 
 
06_wm
 
 

07_wm

::     REPOUSSE STATEMENT NECKLACE:  45.00     ::
“The Repousse is a modern take upon the gorget of the past, offering protection bUT also making A striking visual statement.”
 ::     ALPEN GLOW CUFF:  40.00     ::
::     TRI-QUILL EARRINGS (PORCUPINE QUILLS):  15.00     ::
“Graceful and elegant with a touch of danger.”

 
 

Thank you, Raven Eye Forge, for sharing your striking and bold vision with the world and with the Kisses & Chaos family.  I am truly in love.  And if you, my dear readers, are as in love as I am then I have good new for you:

As a thank you to Kisses & Chaos readers, Raven Eye Forge is offering 25% off your order.  Just make sure to use code KissesandChaos at checkout to save.

So let’s raise a toast to Raven Eye Forge and the Vikings of old:

Mein Skol,
Dein Skol,
Alle Vakkera Flikka Skol.

(which means: My health, your health, all beautiful ladies’ health.)

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

IMAGES  ::  ALL IMAGES © ALLI WOODS FREDERICK.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  ::  SKULL PHOTOS © RAVEN EYE FORGE  ::
Posted in HANDMADE, LIFESTYLE, SPONSORED POST | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Posted on 12/08/2015 by alli woods frederick

 

 

Ketchup Or Catsup

(SETTLE IN CAUSE THIS IS A LONG ONE…BUT IT HAS BEEN ALMOST TWO MONTHS SO…YEAH…)

 

 

KETCHUP OR CATSUP?  IT’S NEITHER.

:: VIDEO: MR. BURNS – KETCHUP OR CATSUP ::

 

 

WHY?  Because in this instance it’s catch up (or rather catching up).  And just like Mr. Burns, I too felt a bit like I was falling down the rabbit hole for much of October and November.  I can honestly say that over the past couple of months I wouldn’t have been the least surprised to see a forest full of bread and butterflies and jabberwockies, never mind white rabbits with waistcoats and pocket watches.  In short?

 
 

SHIT HAS BEEN CRAZY ‘ROUND HERE.

Ketchup Or Catsup*I SAY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE AND CERTAINTY THAT SUCH PROCLAMATIONS NO LONGER COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU…NOR SHOULD THEY.  THIS IS CALLED KISSES & CHAOS FOR A REASON, AFTER ALL.*

 
 

So let’s catch up, shall we?  (Of course we shall…otherwise this would just be a big black empty space and apart from trying to make some pretentious statement about the futility and hopelessness of it all, that would be rather pointless – as would the pretentious statement on the nature of existence.)  So here we go…

 
 

 
 

It’s no secret to those of you who visit with any regularity that my baby, my beloved Mischa, passed away on August 10 of this year and, as you can imagine, after sixteen years of our constant companionship, the loss has been beyond painful.

 
 

I DON’T THINK A WORD EXISTS FOR THIS PARTICULAR DEGREE OF ANGUISH IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

 
 

There probably is in German since they have words expressly for freakishly specific emotions (my favorite being schadenfreude – something I’ve been guilty of on more than one occasion.  I confess).  I had more crushing heartbreak on top of the loss of Mischa, so functioning was nearly impossible.  Screw it.  Who am I kidding?  I wasn’t functioning.  At all.

 
 

MY POINT?  MY LIFE WAS RIPPED APART…AGAIN…YEAH…I KNOW: *YAWN*.

© Alli Woods Frederick Confessions & Admissions (Remnants)

(*EYE ROLL* BELIEVE ME, IT GETS JUST AS WORN OUT AND OLD FOR ME TO SAY/EXPERIENCE IT AS IT DOES FOR YOU TO READ IT.  IT GETS REALLY, REALLY F*CKING OLD.)

 
 

During all of this time I was supposed to be shooting and putting the finishing touches on my newest series/exhibit, ‘.(re)percussions.’ (which was on display at Fayetteville Underground throughout November – a free collector’s catalogue and some other other fun stuff will be available soon).

But instead of shooting I was working on keeping my head together.

To ice the cake I also got a nasty bug, two migraines so severe I wound up in the ER where I was shot full of dilaudid (which provided a mere temporary reprieve – it’s a redhead thing…we experience pain and metabolize pain meds differently…seriously…we’re mutants) and on and on goes the list of delays and stupid bullshit that prevented me from doing what I needed to do.  I promise I’m not whining…just recounting and catching you up because it was seriously f*cking ridiculous.

 
 

TO SAY I WAS BEHIND SCHEDULE IS A GROSS UNDERSTATEMENT OF IMMENSE PROPORTIONS.

 
 

Somehow, by a sheer miracle, I was able to get the entire series finished, printed, shipped to my doorstep, framed, hung and on display in time for the opening reception on November 5th.

It was a freakin’ miracle…but…

 
 

I GOT IT DONE!  WOO TO THE F*CKING HOO!

Ketchup Or Catsup

 
 

No sooner had the dust settled than I had to pack my bag and head off for my annual jaunt to MD Anderson in Houston for my checkup with my super-rad oncologist, Dr. Ross (for those not in the know I had malignant melanoma about 12 years ago and pop round for yearly checkups).

 
 

I HONESTLY LOOK FORWARD TO THIS PILGRIMAGE EACH YEAR – I LOVE TO DRIVE DOWN THE QUIET BACK ROADS AND SMALL HIGHWAYS THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS…

ketchup

 
 

…(and always with one eye open for Bigfoot – we have them around here and in Eastern Texas, you know).  I find road trips to be extremely relaxing and cathartic…just me, the road, my windows down, music playing, singing at the top of my lungs and making new friends at every gas station & truck stop.

(WAIT…THAT SOUNDED DIRTY AND WRONG…THAT IS SO NOT WHAT I MEANT.)

 
 

S Mart_wm

(”SHOP SMART.  SHOP S-MART.” – I STOP HERE EVERY YEAR FOR YOU, BRUCE CAMPBELL.  I  LOVE YOUR GUTS.)

 
 

I’m a gypsy by nature and happiest when traveling, even when it’s to have doctors examining me head to toe in all my naked…well…glory doesn’t quite seem like the right word, but you know what I mean.  Not a super-fun experience for my modest ass (literally) but worth it so that I can have a good 14-16 hours on the open road.

 
 

THERE IS ALSO THE ADDED BONUS OF GETTING TO SPEND TIME WITH SOME OF MY NEARESTS AND DEARESTS.

 

When your friends are scattered across the globe it’s a double edged sword.  I always have a place to stay just about anywhere when I travel (which always makes me think of this hilarious Mitch Hedberg joke), but I also don’t get to see my family, the people I love and have adopted into the home of my heart, nearly as much as I would like.  But that’s life, I suppose.

 
 

SO I POPPED BY MD ANDERSON…

md-anderson-new-facade-2015

 

…with my friend Dan, got a clean bill of health (*high 5’s*) and we were off and running in his electric Nissan Leaf.  The charging stations look like something that would be used in the assimilation process from human to Cyberman – am I right my fellow Whovians? (I wish you could see the charging plug more clearly…it’s sooooo Cyber Industries-esque that it’s creepy.)

 

leaf-vs-cyberman

 
 

We kicked it with his parents for a little while (I want to steal his mom and bring her home with me – she’s so freakin’ precious.  She’s my new favorite person) and then headed out to the gorgeous historic Glenwood Cemetery (due to the cost to build and maintain cemeteries like these are disappearing, which breaks my heart.  If you want to learn more about park cemeteries check out the truly interesting (though poorly named) PBS documentary, “A Cemetery Special”) known not only for its beauty and some gorgeous live oaks, but for its most famous resident, Howard Hughes, whose grave we spent quite a bit of time at.  He was a fascinating (and utterly mad) man…although I find his fascination with Jane Russell (or should I say her breasts) completely befuddling.

 
 

HUGHES’ GRAVE SITE WAS SURPRISINGLY UNDERSTATED, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED…

howard-hughes-grave-2015

 
 

…but had the most gorgeous art nouveau copper lilies set into the alcoves of the monument.

…and then there’s this gorgeous panorama Dan took (and yes I was making jazz hands…as you do).  I bow to your rad panoramic skills, Dan.

 
 

ketchup

 
 

WE HAD A LIST A MILLION MILES LONG OF THINGS TO DO…

ketchup

 
 

…(museums, etc) but we wound up grabbing a bite to eat with our friend Brandon (you should really check out his band, Night Drive.  You’re welcome in advance, because you will, I promise, love them) and spent hours catching up, talking UFOs, Coast to Coast AM, music, art, bigfoot, old high school hijinks and making travel plans for next year to some seriously offbeat festivals of the non-musical variety.  We stayed there so long I’m pretty sure we were about to be kicked out…our poor waiter.

Brandon had music related affairs to tend to so Dan and I made a quick stop by Lush (where I had to grab a new bottle of my old favorite, Imogen Rose perfume – I abhor rose perfumes, but this one is delicious) and then headed back to my room for an evening discussing why people do what they do and had a good laugh/debate about cats eating the lips of their deceased owners (which is nothing compared to what a dog will do…you don’t want to go there…trust me).

(We always joke that if this is what our conversations are like sober, what the hell would they be liked stoned or tripping our asses off? They’d probably be boring as hell.)

 
With that we said our see you laters and that was that.  *sigh*

 
 

ketchup

 
 

The next morning, after stocking up on dehydrated mangos and coffee, I was back on the road headed for home, once again enjoying the open road (although I do think I slipped into an alternate dimension…strange things were afoot at the Circle K, so to speak, and it was most certainly an atypical, though wholly enjoyable, day that left me scratching my head in utter confusion.  Once I discovered it was Friday the 13th it all made sense – it’s a lucky day for me).

 
 

AND THEN HERE I WAS.  HOME AGAIN.

Thanksgiving 2015

*Thanksgiving.  This is my “someone please shoot me” smile.*

 
 

I felt flat and deflated as I do upon my return from any trip (and of course, Thanksgiving was just around the corner, and that’s always a stressful holiday for me – some of my family members are…challenging and we’ll just leave it at that).  So now I’m ready for another trip…I’m ready to rekindle the excitement and to have new experiences to look forward to…now the only question is…

 
 

WHERE SHOULD I GO NEXT…?

ketchup

 
 

I’m open to suggestions, so if you have any recommendations (the quirkier, the more historic or off the beaten path the better) or want me to visit you, feel free to chime in and share your thoughts.  Just leave me a note in the comments below (or text me if you have my number).  And I promise, I’m back now…and I’ll do my best to never stay gone so long again.  I missed you guys oodles and oddles.  I love you all.  XXX

 
 

Kisses & Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 
 

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Posted in ANNOUNCEMENTS, MY LIFE, PHOTOGRAPHY, WANDERLUST | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Posted on 10/13/2015 by alli woods frederick

 

 

Time To Celebrate

 

 

KISSES & CHAOS IS 5 YEARS OLD!

 

CAN you believe it?!?  I can’t.  The time has gone by so insanely fast!  It blows my mind.  I am in shock. After years and years aaaand years and years of blogging under a different name (I was Down & Dirty Designs, which was my handmade art/craft business on Etsy back in the day) and for very different reasons (to support my Etsy shop) I felt it was time for a change.

 
 

I DECIDED TO TRY SOMETHING NEW.

blow me birthday


 
 

I decided take my love of writing, art, DIY and all things weird & wonderful and turn it into part of my life and my career…and share it all with you – no longer as a way to promote my work, but as a way to:

 

*  connect in a way that’s meaningful
*  to share parts of my private life in the hopes that it will help those of you going through the same shit
*  to share my humor in the hopes that it will lighten your mood
*  to share all sorts of weird stuff because there’s more to life than the physical world
*  to give you free goodies and giveaways because free stuff rocks
*  to share my art along with other people’s because art in all its forms makes the world a better place
*  to share my intuitive gifts with my readings and reiki in the hopes of helping you when you need me
*  to proudly embrace and discuss geek chic – because who says geeks can’t have good taste and be sexy as f*ck?
*  and most importantly, to build a community and create a safe place free of judgment for unique, eccentric and quirky individuals that can’t be pigeonholed, that defy stereotypes and feel like we belong both everywhere and nowhere because who we are and how we feel changes with each sunrise…and that’s okay.

 
So one fine day in October, 2010, I decided to turn my signature in my personal correspondences (I signed my emails “Kisses & Chaos, Alli” for years and years and felt it was and always has been an apt description of my life, for better or worse) and give it a life of its own, but as an extension of me – my heart, my soul and that wonky thing upstairs that passes for a brain.
 
Kisses & Chaos has been part of my life, my heart and my sanity ever since.  And I cannot thank you all enough for coming along for the ride…but I’m going to try:

 
 

 TIME TO CELEBRATE

Time To Celebrate


 
 

Tonight through October, 25 (11:59pm CST), I’m saying “Thank you” with an insane Buy One Get One Free Tarot Reading Sale for my Year At A Glance and my Super-Duper In-Depth Yearly Tarot Reading.  Yeah.  I said it was a ridiculously huge sale.  I wasn’t kidding.

 

*The BOGO sale is limited to 5 each (5 Year At A Glance & 5 Super-Duper in-Depth (not including the freebies) …otherwise I’d be doing readings until this time next year – it takes a lot of time to meditate, connect with your energy, throw & read the cards, write your reading, create your pretty pdf and answer your follow up emails about your readings,  so I have to limit the number of readings I do.  I’m not trying to be stingy.  I’m just trying to stay sane, which is challenging on my good days *wink*.  I promise.*

 

And if a BOGO sale’s just not enough I’m also giving away three Simplicity Single Card readings and two Three Card Tarot Readings (details about that later in the post).

 
 

SO HOW DOES THIS BOGO SALE WORK?  I BET YOU JUST WANT ME TO SHUT UP AND GIVE YOU THE CODE.  OKAY.  WELL HERE’S THE SCOOP:

 

When you checkout, make sure you have 2 of the same readings in your cart (you have to have 2 for it to work).  Use the code BOGO (I was really creative there, wasn’t I?), click “Update Cart” and then watch your total magically get cut in half.  Ta-dum!
 
But what the hell do you do with 2 tarot readings that tell you about an entire year of your life?  Easy…

 
 

SHARE ONE WITH A FRIEND!

(or an enemy if you want to smooth things over…or really confuse them.)

 

You can either split the cost with your BFF which makes it 50% off for each of you (which is a seriously killer discount…$87.50 each, which is a helluva a deal for such a huge and detailed reading that spans your entire year to come)…and I gotta tell ya, I gotta be honest…a 50% off sale on my yearly readings will never happen due to the intense amount of energy, work and time involved in those readings.  I love you guys, but that would kick my ass in a huge way…of course this probably will too, but…

 
 

IT’S OUR COLLECTIVE CHAOS FAMILY BIRTHDAY AND 5 YEARS IS A BIG DEAL!

  Time To Celebrate


 

I honestly never thought we’d still be here, sharing and creating and being our own little tribe of quirky and weird awesomeness 5 YEARS LATER.  I had a lot of people actively discouraging and undermining me – a certain *ahem* person who told me “no one cared” about what I had to say, that no one would ever buy my “ugly” art and that I needed to learn that I’m not talented or special and need to “get over” myself and get a “real job” like everyone else in the world to certain family members who echoed and reinforced the “real job” sentiment every chance they got, telling me that what I wanted to do was impossible because I’m just one of millions of other artists and writers who are more talented and have more going for them.  But here we are, and even though I might not be wildly successful, we’re still alive and kicking and I’m pleased as punch that we are…more than you’ll ever know.  I love our weird little family.  Thank you all for being a member of it.

 
 

Wait.  I lost my train of thought there for a minute…okay…back on track…

Oh, yeah…okay!  Got it!

So…you can split the cost with a friend for an amazing deal OR you can give the second one as a gift complete with a special note from you which I’ll make all puuurty and attach with their reading.

I’ll shoot you an email after your buy your reading and you can let me know how you want to use your freebie and we’ll take it from there.  (If you have any questions before you buy, don’t hesitate to email me and I’ll get back to you a.s.a.p. since time is of the essence with this BOGO.)

 
 

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GIVEAWAY?  WHERE’S THE FREE STUFF?!?

 

You can enter the giveaway by filling in the little form right down there at the very bottom of this post and earning points or by clicking on the “Giveaway” tab on my Facebook page.  Whichever is easier.  And yes, you can enter to win both the single and the three card readings (but you can only win one).  There’s a little arrow in the form that lets you pop back and forth between the two giveaways.

Now for the boring legal stuff:

 

International entries are accepted.  Must be 18 years of age to enter.  Contest ends October 25, 2015, at 11:59pm CST.  The winners will be announced on KissesAndChaos.com October 28, 2015.  Prizes cannot be exchanged for cash or other products/services and are non-transferable.

 
Okay.  I’ve babbled enough.  I’m just super excited to be celebrating this milestone with you.

Thank you again for your years of support, friendship and general badass-ness.  You guys rock my socks and I lurve you oddles (yes oddles – you know it’s fitting) and oodles.

 
 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US ALL!
HERE’S TO ANOTHER 5 YEARS, MY DEARS!

 
 

Grateful Kisses & Loving Chaos,
Alli Woods Frederick

 

PS – I’ve been kicking around the idea of offering the option of buying an honest to goodness book (you know, one with covers and pages that you can hold in your hands) of the Super-Duper In-Depth and Year At A Glance readings so you can have them on your shelf to reference whenever you want in addition to the pdf you recieve.  I was thinking they could come in:  spiral bound (so you can use them as workbooks, take notes, jot things down from our emails, etc) and perfect bound (which is fancy industry talk for paperback).  This would cost extra and would be an add-on service.  If any of you are interested, just let me know and I’ll include details along with your reading.  But whether you buy a reading or not let me know what you think – good idea or bad idea?  I’d love to know.  Okay.  Seriously shutting up now.   Happy freakin’ birthday to us!  Muwha!

 
 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 
 

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